Broken Pieces of Yesterday
by lakergirl4life
Summary: Can Mike and Paige's relationship survive after he rescues her and not Lina? Will Paige find a way to forgive him or will Mike find himself heading back to DC? Contains spoilers for The Unlucky One.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This starts during The Unlucky One.

* * *

"Will you shut up about the case?" Paige shouted, looking at him for the first time since they entered the truck. "This is not just a case. Some of them aren't even eighteen! They're girls Mike! Girls! They didn't make it out of there, they're still in there. Lina's still in there."

Her was face bruised. Her leg wrapped. Because of Sulla. Eyes haunted. Because of Lina. Trust shattered. Because of him.

Paige looked at him with tear filled eyes, pleading for him to do something. Anything. But right now, right this moment there wasn't anything he could do for her.

It took everything in him not to pull Paige into his arms. Promise her that he would fix this. He could feel the hostility rolling off her in waves and could tell that the last thing she wanted right now was his comfort and assurances. He was lucky Paige was even talking to him. Lucky she hadn't blown their covers. If he had been able to carry a gun to the site, he was positive she would've stolen it and shot the place up to rescue her girls.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I considered that?" Mike asked, meeting Paige's eyes. Trying to keep his eyes from drifting to the bruise on her face that Sulla saw fit to give her when he was dragging her kicking and screaming. The second he heard Sulla's hand make contact with Paige's face, he almost blew his cover. But he wouldn't risk not walking out of there without Paige. So he kept silent.

His calculated, controlled demeanor vanished the moment he realized Paige was missing. He couldn't think straight. Couldn't focus on anything other than getting her out of there. He lost count of how many protocols he broke. Didn't question where the money came from to "buy" Paige and now that she was safe, he didn't care.

He crossed lines he didn't think he was capable of crossing. Maybe Briggs poured vodka down Lawrence's throat first, but he held him down. Briggs didn't put the bottle in his hands. Didn't tell him to pour most of a half gallon of vodka down Lawrence's throat. He did that. He'd like to blame that on the guilt he felt for not being able to secure Paige a team or on the fear of not knowing where she was, but he made a conscious choice. What was bothering him wasn't that he did it, but that he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant finding Paige.

Seeing her picture on that disgusting website made this more real than he ever could've imagined. He knew the facts. The numbers. Saw the faces. But it took seeing hers to make it real for him. Nothing could ever make him forget the fear he saw in her eyes. No matter how ironclad Paige's cover was, she couldn't fake that. No matter what, he had to get her out of there.

Paige begged him to buy Lina. Begged him to leave her in there. But he couldn't. Not because she couldn't take it. Not because she would be more valuable to the operation on the outside - which was true, but not the deciding factor in his decision if he was honest with himself. But because _he_ couldn't take it. _He_ couldn't live through another second knowing she was at the mercy of those monsters. Sulla wouldn't hesitate to torture or kill her if he found out she was a federal agent. That wasn't a risk he was willing to take.

Mike slammed his hand on the steering wheel, frustrated. With Paige. With himself. But he made the best decision he could under the circumstances. Why couldn't Paige see that? Why couldn't she take a step back and look at the big picture? She was wrong if she thought he didn't care about her girls. He leaned back, closing his eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather his bearings.

"Did you? Seems like your goal was to get me out of there. Mission accomplished, Agent Warren, you saved me at the expense of all those other girls," Paige said, her voice filled with animosity.

They hadn't been in the truck for more than a minute before they started arguing. Part of him thought they needed to cool down. Go home. Regroup. Get some rest and then reconvene. Figure out the best way to shut down everything for good. They were both on edge. Agitated. Raw. But Paige was never one to back down from an argument. She wasn't some shrinking violet that hid from adversity. She loved a challenge. She was strong. Fearless. That was why she put herself under as Anika. Part of the reason why she wanted to stay.

"I'm not going to apologize for getting you out of there. If your cover got blown, you'd be suffering a lot more than a wrapped leg and bruised face. Sulla could've killed you."

"If you're expecting a thank you, you're not going to get one."

The moment he chose to lie to her, about talking to Sulla to buy Lina instead of her, he knew she would be pissed. But he thought she would see reason. Look at things logically. Realize that saving Lina _now_ wasn't the answer. That they had to shut this place down for good. Sending up a team to bust things up now, without a link to Solano would only shut it down temporarily.

"You can hate me all you want, but I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."

"I can't live with myself if something happens to Lina. I promised her that I wouldn't leave her. If something happens to her, if someone buys her, that's on you."

His anger and frustration getting the best of him, he found himself saying the one thing he shouldn't. "I'm not the one that put her on the bus to Sylmar, you did."


	2. Chapter 2

"_I'm not the one that put her on the bus to Sylmar, you did."_

Paige blinked back tears at Mike's statement. He certainly wasn't pulling any punches, but as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. A few weeks ago, she had a choice. She could've grabbed Lina then. Figured out some other way to find the rest of the girls. Track another bus. But she needed to know where the girls went. Needed to find out where the girls went next. But then Lina disappeared, ditching the backpack and the phone she had given her.

Every lead she had turned out to be a dead end. It was as if she had looked everywhere only to turn up nothing. Just when she had a lead, her team got pulled and she decided to head out anyways with Jakes as her backup.

And she met Anika.

She convinced Anika to wear a wire while she and Jakes tailed her. But suddenly Anika was seizing and coughing up blood, because one of the heroin filled balloons ruptured in her stomach. Before she had a chance to think everything through, she found herself ingesting the remaining balloons. She had no way of knowing that Jakes had been arrested. No way of knowing that she was heading to God knows where with absolutely no backup.

It wasn't until the hours started ticking by that she realized that no one was coming for her and it was up to her to get herself out of there. But not without Lina, who was thankfully still alive - still there. She promised Lina that she wouldn't leave her behind. She probably could've made it over the fence had Lina not been with her, but she sent Lina there and she needed to get her out. Then Sulla was standing over her with a baseball bat and her escape was becoming less and less of an reality.

But the next day Mike showed up and the moment their eyes met, she knew everything would be okay. Unable to run to him. Unable to say a word without breaking either of their covers, all she could do was offer him the faintest of smiles. But what trust she had in him faded quickly once she learned there wasn't a team or even the rest of the house waiting outside to shut this place down.

Instead Mike got her out and wanted to keep this place open. Keep these scared girls locked up like cattle. Not knowing if Sulla planned to punish them or if they would be bought the next time a buyer came. Wondering if it would be better if someone bought them. If the sleezebag that was there now was better than the one that would show up tomorrow.

This was just as much her fault as it was Mike's. Page pressed her fingers into the palm of her hand, her nails indenting the soft flesh, just enough to hurt, but not enough to break the skin. Not enough as her girls were hurting. Not enough as Lina would hurt if someone bought her before they shut it down.

"Paige..."

Mike's voice jarred her back to the present and she flexed her hand, looking down at the half moon indentations in her palm for a few moments before turning back to him. She heard the apology in his voice. Regret. But not for what he did earlier. For what he said now. She didn't need his apologies. Nothing he said now would make this better unless it involved driving back there to bust up this operation and get them out _now_.

"Don't apologize. I've been thinking about that since the moment I put Lina on that bus. But my goal is to get my girls out of there. Yours is Solano."

"It's the same goal. The _same_ goal."

Paige angrily shook her head, "No, it's different. We're talking about girls too helpless to fight for themselves. Girls you want to leave in there to link this to Solano. We're not talking about a shipment of heroin. We're talking about human beings!"

"You don't think I know that? If we shut it down now, then what? Then it opens up somewhere else in what, a month? Two months? We need to shut it down for good. Leaving it open longer allows us to do that."

Mike was career driven. She knew that. So was she. Cases had a tendency to consume both of them. But she was just now realizing that they were motivated by different things. Or maybe she knew it all along. It wasn't like Mike suddenly changed. "I'm not trying to be a rockstar and get one step closer to a promotion."

Mike looked at her, the hurt evident in his clear blue eyes. "If that's all you think this case is to me, then you don't know me at all. You have no idea what this case is costing me. I'm trying Paige. I want those girls safe as badly as you do. But I just don't want the girls Sulla has now safe. I want _all_ of them safe. Including the girls that haven't gotten on a bus yet.

Mike reached for her hand and she pulled it away before he made contact, "Don't touch me."

Emotionally, she was all over the place. She was too close. This was too personal. She couldn't do what Mike was asking. It was impossible to separate her girls from the case. She couldn't compartmentalize like Mike could. She couldn't forget about the girls that were left behind and see the big picture, not after what she saw. What she experienced. Knowing what fate awaited them. She couldn't forget they were girls. Couldn't forget her anger and disgust. She was afraid if Mike touched her, she'd crumble. She'd be a crying mess in his arms and that wasn't what she wanted. There wasn't time for that. Wasn't time to process. Wasn't time for her to break or be comforted. She was out. Safe. She didn't need to be comforted. Didn't feel like she deserved it..

But she wanted him to comfort her. The past few days had been hell. She'd love to go home, take a hot shower and curl up in bed next to Mike and let him tell her everything would be okay. She wanted to believe his promises, but right now they felt like lies. Maybe whatever she and Mike were to each other wasn't strong enough to survive this and right now, she didn't really care.

"I just need a little time. I'll pull Lina out. I'll shut the whole place down. You have my word, all right?"

"Your word is shit."


	3. Chapter 3

Although Paige was grateful to be home, she couldn't forget about everyone left behind. She and Mike were at a standoff, both convinced they were doing the right thing and maybe they were, but they had vastly different ideas on _how_. If there was one takeaway from her rescue, it was that Mike was willing to let the remaining girls be collateral damage. She wasn't.

She wanted to believe Mike. Wanted to believe he'd get Lina out. He promised her. And not just today.

"_We have to save these girls, Mike."_

"_We will. Promise."_

A few hours ago she believed him. Believed in him. Had faith in him. But now, now she wasn't sure of anything. Wasn't sure she could go back to that moment when she first saw him. When she thought everything would turn out fine. She felt so relieved to see him. Knowing that all of her girls would be safe. That their nightmare would end. But Mike's plan had a different timetable than hers. And in a matter of seconds, she went from feeling in control to feeling helpless. At the mercy of Mike's plan with too many things out of her control.

She had to keep reminding herself that Mike wasn't the enemy. He was trying to help, even if he was going about it the wrong way. But she shouldn't have to remind herself that Mike wasn't the enemy. Better than anyone in this house, he knew what this case meant to her. What Lina meant.

Sitting down on her bed, Paige leaned up against the headboard, drawing her knees to her chest. Her damp hair fell onto her face and she reached past the plate of food Charlie not so subtly left in her room while she was in the shower for a rubberband. Throwing her hair in a ponytail, she picked at the fruit. She supposed she should be happy that Charlie wasn't in here force feeding her. One thing she was grateful for was that everyone was giving her some space. Everyone but Jakes. He had felt the need to apologize for not being there for her because he had been arrested. She wasn't sure if she would've made the same decision if she had known he wasn't there. The scary thing was, that she may have. But none of that mattered now. Her girls were still out there and she only had tonight to sort through and process before figuring out how she was going to get her girls out, because she couldn't wait around for Mike.

Before she figured out her next step, she was going to sulk for a while. At the very least, she'd earned that. She could hear Mike pacing outside her door, wondering if he should approach her or not. Considering how they left things, she didn't blame him for his hesitation. That was the one thing she didn't blame him for. After their argument, they didn't speak to each other on the ride home. He hung back as she reunited with the rest of the house, accepting the affection she couldn't from him. It wasn't that she didn't want it, but things were too complicated right now. With Mike things were always complicated. She always felt a little more for him. Shared a little too much. Crossed lines she normally wouldn't. Now they were sleeping together and she had no idea where they stood. One of the last conversations they had before she ended up impersonating Anika was her pressuring him to sleep with his supervisor to get resources for her team. How twisted was that?

"_You are more than a casual fling."_

In her head, she knew how Mike felt about her. Now. Last summer. Last week. Today. Right now. She knew. Even if he didn't say it, she knew. They both knew. Or at least she thought she knew. But she couldn't deal with him right now. Couldn't deal with his half filled truths. Mike was in charge of the case and they didn't agree how things should play out. She didn't expect special treatment because they were sleeping together, but she thought he would see things the way she did. But she was wrong.

Last summer she kept her distance, flirting on the edge of being something with him but not crossing that line because she didn't think he could handle it. Didn't think he could separate business from personal. But if today was any indication, he definitely could. But what she didn't expect was that she would be the one that couldn't separate. And she had no idea what that meant. If that meant he didn't care as much as she thought he did. Or if she cared more.

Paige closed her eyes when she heard a light knocking at the door, "Go away."

"Paige - "

"Mike, go away. I want to be alone."

Mike placed his hand against the door, clearly frustrated, before lowering his head in defeat and walking away.

Closing her eyes, she tried to stop the tears from falling. She wouldn't even have to say a word. Despite everything that was going on with them, she wouldn't have to say a word. All she had to do was open the door. If she didn't want to talk, she could tell him not to say anything and he wouldn't. She could lose herself in him or just let herself be held and he would let her take whatever she needed. And tomorrow she could go back to hating him, because right now when she closed her eyes all she could see were the faces of all her girls. But she didn't deserve his comfort. Not when she was safe and her girls weren't.

She tensed when she heard knocking - _again_. "Mike, I told you. Go away!"

"It's me, P."

Not that she was in the mood to talk to anyone, she found herself wiping her eyes, "Come in."

Johnny gave her a worried look as he sat on the edge of her bed, "You doing okay?"

She shrugged, not entirely sure what okay meant. She was tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. That wasn't even taking into account what was going on with her and Mike.

"Did Mike send you in here?"

"No. Is there a reason why he's been standing outside your door like a lost puppy for the last hour?"

Paige shrugged again, knowing she was being hard on him. But Johnny didn't understand. Couldn't understand. If Mike couldn't understand, how could Johnny? Keeping her eyes focused on the music box Jakes gave her earlier so she had some glimmer of hope that Lina would make it out, she replied, "Mike does what he wants."

"You're mad at him, I get that. But, he was so wrecked while you were gone. I mean, we all were, but Mikey - I thought he was going to take Briggs' head off when Briggs told him he couldn't send a cavalry to go find you. He was _this close_ to starting a fight with Jakes when he found out he got arrested instead of having your back. He and Briggs, they had this mysterious intel - they're not saying how they got it. But..." Johnny paused for a few seconds shaking his head before continuing, "Mikey, he saw - he saw that picture of you, man - he lost it. Smashed his computer. Maybe - "

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You two - I don't know what's going on with you two, but there's something going on. There's always something going on. You have every right to be mad at Mike. I got your back, P. I always got your back, never doubt that, but maybe you should cut Mike some slack."

Reaching for the music box, she turned it the key, smiling slightly at the song before looking Johnny in the eye so there would be no mistaking her answer, "No."


	4. Chapter 4

Despite being exhausted, Paige woke up early the next day. Still unclear on how to get her girls out, all she could do was watch from the outside and make sure that more weren't sold. She needed a shower, coffee and breakfast, and then she would head out. Maybe she'd ask Jakes to keep her company or bring her lunch later or something. Paige glanced at the clock, breathing a sigh of relief when she realized it was almost 6:30 because Mike would still be out for his morning run. She couldn't avoid him forever, but right now she couldn't deal with him.

Paige rifled through her dresser, tossing some clothes on the bed and headed for the bathroom. A hot shower would help clear her head. Paige groaned the second she opened her door. So much for Mike going on his morning run. The hallway outside her door was littered with stacks of photos and file folders. And one FBI Agent leaning up against the wall, fast asleep. A ghost of a smile filled her face as she watched him sleep, almost feeling guilty because he staked out her room after she ignored him. She noted the dark circles under his eyes, but she refused to feel responsible for them. This could've all been over if Mike pulled out her girls. Solano had so many operations going, they didn't need to nail him for the girls too. There were other ways to put that bastard behind bars.

Nailing Solano was personal for Mike, even if he didn't want to admit it. Solano was the one that put the hit out on him. Connecting the sex trafficking ring to Solano would ensure that Mike kept rising the ranks in DC. And she was positive, that a certain blonde Assistant Deputy Director would welcome him back with open arms. Pushing down her feelings of jealousy, she shook her head, not wanting to focus that right now.

Paige gently nudged Mike with her foot, waiting for him to wake up. When he didn't move, she nudged him harder, resisting the urge to kick him. Mike woke up, immediately bringing his hand to his neck to work out the crick that no doubt formed because he slept leaning up against the wall instead of in his bed the next room over. Was it really just a few nights ago that they were in her room going over case files while she massaged his neck? That felt like a lifetime ago.

Mike looked up at her, his eyes full of unspoken apologies. But she wasn't ready to hear them, not now. Maybe not ever. "I don't need you watching over me."

"That's not what this is. If - "

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you right now. I'm tired and I have to go do surveillance. You left my girls in there, someone needs to watch over them. I'm going to take a shower, I want you gone when I come back."

"Paige, I..." Mike paused for a few seconds, "Just tell me, is your leg okay?"

Not wanting to show weakness, she brushed off his concern. "I'm here, I'll be fine." The truth was that her leg would be fine in a few days, but right now it was still sore. But she'd take some extra strength ibuprofen and she'd be fine. It didn't even hurt that much, it was tight more than sore, after she walked around a bit, the muscle would loosen up and a hot shower would help. Considering what her girls were going through, a baseball bat to her leg was barely a scratch. "Those girls won't be fine unless _I _get them out."

"Just a few more days. Give me some time to connect Solano and Sulla."

"Just go, okay?" She couldn't do this. She couldn't keep fighting with him. She was barely holding it together. She didn't have the energy to fight with him on top of everything that was going on. "I'm tired, I'm hungry and I need coffee. I can't fight with you right now, I can't," Paige pleaded, unable to keep the dejection out of her voice. "Please, Mike, just go."

"Yeah, okay."

Mike started gathering up his files and she left him in the hall, fleeing to the bathroom. Making sure to take an extra long shower, she even blow dried her hair because the longer she spent in the bathroom, the greater chance she had at avoiding Mike. Cautiously stepping out of the bathroom, she was relieved to see that Mike was gone. But that relief quickly turned to annoyance when she noticed something by her door. Of course, Mike would leave something behind. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of returning it to him. He knew he left it there, he could pick it up. She slowed down as she approached, looking curiously at what Mike left outside her door. A bright purple travel mug and small paper bag from her favorite coffee shop. Without opening the bag, she knew a cinnamon roll was inside. It was her favorite but they always ran out early and she was almost always too late to get one.

It was round trip drive of almost thirty minutes to get there. He must've headed out there the second she stepped into the bathroom. Picking up his peace offering, she bit her lower lip and looked towards his door. Taking a sip of the coffee, she sighed. At the very least, she could thank him for the coffee. Let him know she appreciated the gesture but a coffee run didn't fix anything between them. Tightening her towel around her, she walked towards Mike's room, hesitating outside her door. Gathering her nerve, she raised her hand to knock, but heard someone coming upstairs and instead made a beeline to her room.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're still up."

Mike looked over, surprised to see Paige standing in his bedroom doorway. "I want this over as much as you do." The case was moving slower than he wanted, a series of false starts and dead ends. But he wouldn't give up on this case. To shut Solano down for good, he needed to link Solano and Sulla.

"Do you?"

Knowing Paige probably wouldn't enter his room, he took a chance and walked over to her, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't storm off. He took a deep breath, trying to will himself not to fight with her. To not take the bait, not have the same argument they had been having for the past few days. "I do."

"_You_ can end this now, Mike. Get those girls out of there. You don't know what it's like for them."

Paige looked up at him, her eyes weary. Pleading. It was hard for him to deny her anything, but he couldn't give her this. Couldn't jeopardize the safety of the girls that would be sent to a new location if this one was shut down. Solano had a lot of resources. Hell, he had the head of the Gang Task Force of the LAPD in his back pocket. He needed to get evidence from all sides to shut down Solano for good, not just for a few weeks.

"I can't. I - "

"Won't. You _won't_ get them out of there," Paige said, crossing her arms over her chest, clearly frustrated with the way this conversation was going.

Noticing the broken skin on the back of her hand, he motioned to her hand, afraid she'd slap him if he reached out to touch her. "What happened?" He hadn't gotten a chance to take note of all her injuries the other day, but this definitely wasn't there yesterday morning. How many times would she get hurt because of decisions he made?

"Sulla sold a girl today."

Mike's blood ran cold, "Where is she? Was it Lina?"

"Do you even care?" Paige asked, her voice devoid of all emotion.

"How can you ask me that?"

"Because she's still in there because of you!" Her eyes flashing with anger, Paige poked his chest, making contact with him for the first time since she slapped him a few days before, pushing him further into his room. "If you would've gotten your _FBI girlfriend_ to approve my team - "

"You know she's not my girlfriend. I tried to convince her. I almost - I tried, but I couldn't."

"_Wouldn't_. Just like you wouldn't buy Lina. Like you won't shut this down. Mike, if I mean anything to you, you -."

"Do you have any idea what you mean to me?" Paige meant so much to him, that he tried to whore himself out for her. But when it got down to it, he couldn't do it. Couldn't betray Paige and what they had, even though it was her idea. He replayed that moment in his mind over and over again, wondering how things would've turned out differently if he'd gone through with it.

"I'm just the latest in your line of passing office romances," Paige said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's what you think you are? You have no idea, Paige - no idea," Mike quietly said, struggling to keep his temper in check. He was _this close_ to losing it. It would be so easy to fight with her. Get everything out in the open. Let her have all the information and then she could decide if she still hated him. He didn't want to unload all his frustration from the past few days on her. Even with things as tense as they were between them, he didn't want to burden her with his frustrations and guilt about Lawrence.

He felt so many conflicting emotions. He wanted to kiss her. Fight with her. Protect her. Beg for her forgiveness. But the one thing he didn't want was her to know was what he did. Didn't want her to judge him. Didn't want her feeling responsible for his actions. Didn't want her to feel like she needed to make things okay for him, even though that was what he wanted.

"No idea about what? Tell me, Mike. Tell me what's weighing on your conscience because I know it's not my girls!"

"Never mind. If you think all I am is a passing office romance, then maybe I should reconsider and take Jess up on her offer to head back to DC as soon as I wrap this case up."

"Reconsider? You chose Graceland?"

Mike shrugged, not reacting to the surprise he heard in her voice. "If you want me to go back to DC, I will." A few days ago, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do after the case ended. He wasn't sure he was cut out for the desk job he'd wanted his whole life. All those months he was in DC, he missed everything about Graceland. Being undercover. The danger. The adrenaline rush. Paige. Then his bus theory got him back out into the field. He never dreamed it would lead him back to Graceland. Back to Paige. But it had, and she could barely stand to look at him. He wasn't sure how long he could live down the hall from her if she hated him. If it made things easier for her, he'd leave. Head back to DC. Or find somewhere else to be undercover. Graceland meant everything to Paige. It was her safe haven.

"_Graceland is sacred, period."_

He couldn't take that away from her. He'd leave. As much as it would hurt to give up on her. He'd leave if she wanted him to leave. He'd do anything to prove how much she meant to him. If she asked him to crawl through broken glass, he would. But she hadn't asked him to do that. Not yet. So instead he found himself leaving things at her door. Yesterday was a cinnamon roll and a new travel coffee mug since it drove her crazy that Johnny always stole every mug in the house. Today was a Shirley Temple movie with the song she sung for him the other night. For all he knew, she was throwing his peace offerings away. Or maybe Johnny stole her coffee mug from right outside her door. Maybe it didn't matter. If Paige was going to forgive him, she was going to do it on her own timetable. The stupid gifts he was leaving her weren't going to sway her. But he wouldn't stop leaving them until she asked. "Is that what you? Do you want me to leave?" His question was met with silence and he sighed. "Tell me what you want from me. I don't know - "

"I want my girls! I want Lina safe! I want all of them safe! You knew that Mike! I asked you for one thing and you let me down."

"So that's it then?"

Paige took a step back, her hostile body language signalling that their conversation was over, "It doesn't matter. Whatever happens with us doesn't matter. I want to focus on the case. I just need to know if I have your help or if you're taking the next flight to DC."

"I walked away from you once, I'm not doing it again." Taking a risk, he reached out and gently stroked her cheek, he dropped it quickly when he noticed that she tensed at his touch. Dejected, he clenched his jaw and reached for her hand, examining the back of it, wondering what happened. He'd probably have to ask Jakes if he wanted a straight answer. "Do you want me to get you some ice?"

"I don't need you to take care of me. I don't need you sleeping outside my door, either."

"I don't know how to fix this - us," Mike whispered, slowly rubbing his thumb along the palm of her hand.

Paige closed her eyes for a few seconds before looking down at their joined hands, "There's nothing to fix."


	6. Chapter 6

"This is a great investment."

Paige motioned to the TAC team as Mike signaled for them to move in and arrest Sulla, "Go! Move in!" Securing her weapon, she took her place as they swarmed the building.

It was over. After almost two weeks of keeping this place open, it was finally over. Somehow Mike got Sulla to agree to sell the remaining girls, despite Carlito warning him not to. But in the end, Sulla's greed won out. He couldn't resist the inflated price, the extra money added for his trouble. And for the first time, she was thankful for Sulla's greed because it would put an end to all this. Sulla agreeing to let the girls leave the warehouse was the final piece of the puzzle.

Johnny pieced together the money trail and was able to link the first payment Mike made to Sulla to Solano. Only it had found it's way back to _Carlito_ Solano, not Carlos Solano. But that was a detail she couldn't get caught up in. The drugs were connected to both Solanos and the girls to Carlito.

Entering the space where Mike and Sulla were being held at gunpoint, she quickly assessed the scene. Two men were already in handcuffs and being taken outside and only the pair remained. "Where at the girls?"

"They're being taken outside for medical attention. Eight girls, right?" Zelanski asked.

Paige nodded, breathing a sigh of relief that they were all still here. Since they had been watching the place and only one had been sold. Thankfully, she and Jakes were able to intervene and that girl was safe. "Double check, make sure one of them is named Lina. Let me know as soon as you find her, okay?"

"Sure thing," Zelanski said. "You got this under control?" He motioned towards Mike and Sulla.

"I've been waiting almost three weeks to arrest this bastard."

Zelanski nodded, "I'll go check on the girls and I'll be right back."

"Manos arriba, put your hands behind your head." Paige aimed her gun at Mike briefly as she entered the room, and he gave her the briefest of smiles when she used his favorite expression for arresting someone, she gave him a small nod in return before turning her attention to Sulla.

The team was focused on securing Sulla's men and calming down the girls, but she had made it clear to the team that Sulla was hers, and that Mike's cover was to be kept at all costs. Although it wouldn't be long before he figured it out, since Mike got her out of this place and here she was arresting them both.

"You set me up!" Mike shouted.

"Don't move," Paige ordered, sticking her gun in Sulla's chest. If there was ever a time for her gun to accidentally go off, now would be a great time. She'd gladly deal with the investigation that would be sure to follow if it meant no one ever had to deal with Sulla again. But she wasn't going to jeopardize her career and future cases for the fleeting satisfaction she'd get from shooting this bastard. Paige handed her gun to another agent, making sure that one was still trained on Sulla, while she pulled out her handcuffs and slapped them on Sulla. "You have the right to remain silent..."

To his credit, Sulla remained silent and once he was secure, she went back to Mike and arrested him too. The fun playful tone from the day he arrested her was long gone from any interaction they had since the moment he got her out of here.

"_Turn around there Sweetie? Did you have fun with that or what? Hmm?"_

She wasn't sure if they could ever get back to that. Wasn't sure what she wanted. Paige shook her head, forcing herself back to the present. Now definitely wasn't the time to think about her relationship with Mike.

"I set you up? I set you up? Whatever deal you made isn't going to protect you from Solano in prison."

Paige motioned for Mike to keep Sulla talking. The more Sulla talked about Solano, the better it was for their case. This was the first time Sulla mentioned Solano in front of of them.

"I don't need protecting. I'm the innocent one here. I was just making a business deal. Seems to me that you're the one trying to cut your partner out of the profits. I don't know who this Solano guy is, but if he can get to me in prison, he can get to you too."

Despite the handcuffs, Sulla lunged towards Mike, making him stagger backwards. When she reached out to steady Mike, her hat flew off and Sulla finally got a look at her face.

He narrowed his eyes as he recognized her, "You bitch! You set me up, both of you! You bought _her_! I don't know what kind of game you're playing but you're making a big mistake."

"What? I didn't make a deal! She ran! A few days after I got her, she ran. If anyone got set up it was me. What the hell were you thinking, trafficking federal agents? You swore these girls were clean. I paid good money. My investors paid good money and for what? I bought her and now she's arresting me?"

"Don't try to turn this around on me. You two were working together. Sweetheart, that badge won't protect that pretty little face of yours once I get through with you. Gairnhart, whatever you deal you made with her isn't going to protect you from Solano."

Taking her gun back from the agent that was holding it for her, she aimed it at him, wishing she could just pull the trigger and be done with him. "You do realize that you're threatening a federal agent. Keep talking, I'll be glad to keep adding more charges to the list. Seems to me that you're the one that's going to need protection from Solano. Gairnhart - there's a special place in hell for men like you. But prison will have to suffice for now." She motioned to a set of agents and gestured to the pair, "Get them out of here. Take them downtown, separately."

Sulla was taken out first, cursing up a storm, vowing that Solano would make both of them pay. Now that Sulla and all his men were gone, Paige uncuffed Mike. "Sorry," she quietly apologized when she noticed the red marks on one of his wrists.

Mike rubbed his wrist for a few seconds, "It's fine." Taking a deep breath, he touched Paige's chin forcing her to look up at him. "You did it. You got your girls out."

"_We have to save those girls, Mike."_

"_We will. Promise."_

Paige nodded, her eyes shimmering with tears as she got lost in his eyes for a second. Forgetting the lies. The pain. Nothing really mattered but this moment. Her girls were safe. They got them out. "We both did."

Mike framed her face in his hands, wiping away her tears. "Paige, I'm - "

"Paige, hey..." Zelanski began.

Mike dropped his hands and stepped back.

The spell broken, she was both grateful and annoyed for the interruption. She took a few deep breaths to center herself before looking expectantly at Zelanski.

"Your girl Lina, she's here."

Closing her eyes, relief coursed through her veins as she realized that Lina was fine. She hadn't signed her death warrant when she sent her on that bus. Mike kept his promise and shut down that hellhole.

Mike hesitantly placed his hand on her shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Do you need a ride to headquarters? Unless you want to stick around here."

Paige looked around the room, seeing her girls, troubled and afraid everywhere she looked. "I can't be here anymore."


	7. Chapter 7

Hours later, after a series of arrests and preliminary statements everyone finally made it back to the house. As much as she wanted to go to bed, she found herself on the beach with the rest the house, celebrating their victory with a bonfire.

"I can't believe this is over," Paige said. "It just feels - it doesn't feel real yet." There were still a few loose ends to wrap up, and a ton of paperwork to do, but everyone she wanted in jail was in custody.

Charlie motioned to Mike with her beer bottle, "So how are things with you and..."

Paige tensed at Charlie's words. She wasn't sure what if anything anyone knew about her and Mike. It had been weeks since they stopped sleeping together and as far as she knew, they were discreet, always being careful to not let anyone see them in compromising positions. But considering that everyone in the house was an undercover agent, they could've easily figured things out. Everyone thought there was something going on with them last summer and they hadn't even kissed until right before he left. But things were so strained with them right now that it was impossible for everyone not to notice the tension between her and Mike. Everyone had been so busy with the case, that this was the first time other than the night Mike got her out that anyone specifically asked about _them_. It was as if everyone was afraid to ask, but now that the case was over their personal lives were fair game for house gossip - _again_. "We closed the case without killing each other."

"That's progress." Charlie nodded, watching her carefully, "When you were missing, it almost killed Mike. I didn't think he had it in him - doing what he did, he lost it. But, I'm not really surprised."

"Well, you know Mike. Anything to solve the case."

Charlie looked at her, confused and clarified, "_You_, not the case."

"Right, that's why he kept that hellhole open. He had to get me out so he could keep it open." She understood why Mike did what he did. Really she did. She didn't agree with him, but she got it. If she had been in charge of the op, things would've gone much differently. But it had been Mike's call. While she understood the logic behind his decisions, she couldn't understand how he saw the case as just numbers. Her girls were as interchangeable as any other shipment. He claimed he felt differently, but he treated them as if they were a shipment of drugs. As if that wasn't hard enough to sort through, he lied to her about potentially buying Lina. He would've said anything to shut her up and get her out of there. "I told him to leave me in there."

"Getting you out of there wasn't just Mike's call. There was no way any of us were going to let you stay in there a second longer than you had to. But it was Mike and Briggs - they did what had to be done. They got you out. For that, I'm grateful. That day, when you were gone - there was a body bag, it was Anika. For a moment, I thought it was you."

Paige nodded, knowing how reckless she had been, but she wouldn't apologize. She did what needed to be done. She had no way of knowing that Jakes was no longer out there to back her up. "But it wasn't."

"You're right, it wasn't. And there was only one way to find you. There was no team, no choice. Even if Mike had bought Lina, you would've still been in there. Mike was there alone, Jakes was outside, but if they had went in with their badges it only would've saved those eight girls. Mike did what he could with the time he had. I feel bad for Lawrence, but his death, it's not on Mike and Briggs. He got mixed up with - "

"Lawrence? Who's Lawrence? What are you talking about?" Paige asked, snapping to attention. Who the hell was Lawrence and what did he have to do with all of this?

Charlie hesitated a few seconds before asking, "Mike didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Paige asked. Of course. Of course there was something that Mike was holding back from her. It wasn't enough that he had called every shot since he stepped back into Graceland. Now he was keeping secrets too? She thought they were past all that. Mike needing to lie to everyone. To her.

"_If that's all you think this case is to me, then you don't know me at all. You have no idea what this case is costing me."_

"Maybe you should talk to Mike."

Paige shook her head, watching Mike joke around with the rest of the guys from the house. "Whatever this is, Mike had plenty of opportunities to tell me and he chose not to."

Charlie shook her head, hesitating briefly before relenting, "There was this guy, Lawrence. He worked for Cal Coast. The night everything happened, when you went missing and the shipment disappeared - Mike grabbed him."

"_He and Briggs, they had this mysterious intel - they're not saying how they got it. But..."_

The mysterious intel Johnny alluded to. She never asked more about it. There was too much going on for her to worry about it. "What did they do?"

"Paige, you should really talk to Mike about this."

"No, no..." Paige demanded, "You're going to tell me." Her request was met with silence so she stormed across the beach, stopping in front of the guys. "Mike, we need to talk. Now," Paige snapped, her eyes flashing with anger.

Mike stood up, ignoring the curious glances of their roommates. "Paige, come on. It's over. You're still pissed at me, I get that. But it's over. Just forget about everything tonight. Here," Mike held out his beer.

"I don't need a drink!" Paige shouted, knocking the beer out of his hand. "I need you to tell me the truth." Her expression softened as she quietly said, "Just tell me the truth. Tell me what happened with Lawrence. How did you find me?"

Mike's eyes darted across the bonfire to Charlie and she mouthed the word, _sorry_. "Paige..."

"Don't put this on Charlie. Tell me, Mike. Just tell me."

"_I'm just the latest in your line of passing office romances."_

"_That's what you think you are? You have no idea, Paige - no idea."_

"_No idea about what? Tell me, Mike. Tell me what's weighing on your conscience because I know it's not my girls!"_

"There was this guy, Lawrence. I grabbed him after the shipment exploded. I figured he had to know something. I was holding him, I wanted to question him some more, see if he knew something about Carlito or the shipment or who the dirty cop was. But then you went missing and - and that was all that mattered. I went to Briggs for help and we - I, it wasn't just him, it was both of us. It was me, I did it."

"Did what?"

Mike looked down briefly before meeting her gaze, his eyes filled with tears and shame, his voice thick with emotion, "I held him down while Briggs poured vodka down his throat. He was a recovering alcoholic. We needed him to talk. Every second you were gone - we needed answers, there wasn't any time. I took the bottle, I poured it down his throat. He was choking on it, gasping for air and I kept pouring."

Her eyes widened as his words sunk in, finally knowing what he had alluded to for weeks. "I don't know who you are any more."

"Paige," Mike pleaded, reaching for her hand only to have her jerk her hand away. "He had information. You spent weeks looking for those girls and you kept coming up empty handed. He's the only reason we found you."

"You lied, Mike. You lied to me again! You lied to me about talking to Sulla about buying Lina and you lied about this. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hold back? We were supposed to be - " Paige cut herself off before continuing, suddenly realizing that she and Mike weren't alone, despite the surprising silence of their audience. "No lies in Graceland, remember? We lie out there, but here - here, it's different. This isn't last summer. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you blaming yourself. What I did, that was on me," Mike insisted, hitting his chest. "He was begging for us to stop and I wouldn't. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat to get you out of there."

"You should've told me," Paige whispered. "I know that since - since then, I've been horrible, but did you think I wouldn't care? Because despite everything, I do - even if it doesn't seem like it."

Mike reached for her hands again, but this time she didn't pull away. "I'm sorry. I should've told you, but..." Mike's voice trailed off and he shook his head before continuing. "I should've told you, you're right."

Paige looked down at their joined hands before looking up at him, trying to figure out how they got to this place. This place where withholding the truth became the norm for them. They had both changed since last summer. Mike more than her. He used to not be okay with the lies. But maybe it wasn't fair of her to expect complete honesty from him when she had shut him down almost everytime he tried to talk to her. "I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me. That you had to keep this to yourself." She knew without asking that Mike hadn't told Charlie, Briggs had. "What happened to him after wasn't your fault." The adrenaline from the case kept her going for weeks, but now that it was over, she could finally see that her girls weren't the only ones that had been suffering. Mike had been carrying the guilt of what he had done for weeks. No doubt blaming himself for Lawrence's death. "If you hadn't grabbed him, I - I might not be here," Paige added, her voice shaking slightly as the realization of how much danger she had truly been in finally hit her. "You saved me."


	8. Chapter 8

Paige groaned when her alarm went off. It was barely 8am, but she had probably slept more over the past few days than she had the past month. Groggy, she turned off the alarm on her phone and slowly made her way to the bathroom. What she really wanted was coffee, but if she went downstairs to make coffee there was always the chance that she would lay down on the couch and fall asleep. There was also the chance that Mike left her a cup outside of her door. Technically, the case was over, it ended the moment Sulla arranged to sell the girls to Mike, which was three days ago, but the paperwork wouldn't do itself. She had been spending long hours at headquarters making sure everything was taken care of on her end, so she could start putting this case behind her and start moving forward with her life.

As she exited her room, her eyes looked down out of habit, frowning when she saw the empty space where Mike had been leaving her a peace offering every morning since he got her out of the warehouse. She had wondered when he would stop, if it would stop when the case ended but the case ended a few days ago and yesterday there had been a bottle of her favorite nail polish that had been pulled from the shelves because it was from last summer's collection. Not that Mike had to keep buying her things, although she would always welcome coffee and a cinnamon roll from her favorite coffee shop. Mike couldn't buy her forgiveness, he knew that. It was more about the gesture, just something small that showed her that he still cared, that he _knew_ her. Maybe he gave up on her. On them. She was overthinking things. Maybe Mike overslept. He deserved a chance to sleep in every now and then.

Paige shook her head, heading towards the bathroom and she noticed Johnny's door was slightly ajar - just like it had been the night before when she went to sleep.

"_Hey, Mikey, if you got some time I can use some help on a case. I'm trying to get in with this dealer. He likes poker and is having this poker game at an after hours club. He said I could bring a friend, you in?"_

"_Johnny, I suck at poker."_

"_That's why I'm asking you. We're playing with FBI money, not yours. You in?"_

"_Yeah, I'm in."_

She glanced back at Mike's closed door, then at Johnny's. They were fine. Nothing was supposed to go down last night. Johnny was just putting in some face time. Johnny and Mike were fine. She was overreacting. Ignoring the nagging feeling in her gut, she started towards the bathroom again only to turn around and head towards Mike's room. Once she knew he was safe in his room, she could go about her day. She hesitated outside of the doorway for a few moments, debating knocking but she slowly turned the knob, holding her breath as the door opened.

"Thank God," she whispered to herself when she saw Mike sleeping soundly in his bed. Her face softened as she watched him sleep, trying to figure out where things went wrong with them. If there was a way to get back on track or did she ruin that with how she had been acting the past few weeks? When she and Mike started sleeping together, it wasn't supposed to be serious. Just two consenting adults giving into temptation and a mutual attraction that dated back to last summer. But high stress jobs, living under the same roof and keeping their relationship a secret definitely intensified things despite their best efforts to keep things casual."

"_You're gonna catch these guys, I know it."_

"_And when I do and this bus case is over, you gonna go back to DC?"_

"_I don't know."_

They weren't supposed to be more than a fling. But the night where everything started to go wrong, he practically told her that he loved her and she didn't say a word. She should let him go. Stop stringing him along. Make a clean break and they could both move on with their lives. Leave it up to him if he wanted to stay here or head back to DC.

They hadn't talked since the night she confronted him at the bonfire about Lawrence. Talking to Mike used to be the one of the easiest things to do. But even with everything finally out in the open, it was hard to get back to that place. She wasn't avoiding him anymore, there just hadn't been time for them to talk. Unless someone locked them in a room together, it could take them weeks before they finally cleared the air. If they had weeks. Mike could go back to DC on a moment's notice and she wasn't even sure if he'd say goodbye. With how she had treated him, she wouldn't blame him if he packed up and left without saying goodbye.

Paige started to back out of his room, cursing when she bumped into a chair.

Mike's eyes shot open at the noise and he sat up, on high alert, relaxing as his eyes focused on her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was - it's 8am, I thought you'd be up." It was a flimsy excuse, but not entirely unbelievable. Mike went running at 6am almost every moment like clockwork. Even during this case, keeping insane hours, he still went running.

Propping himself up on his elbow, he watched her for a few moments and she fidgeted under his scrutiny, before he gave her a knowing smile. Great, he knew. Of course he knew why she snuck in his room this morning. Maybe he would be a gentleman about it and let her leave without embarrassing herself further.

She kept her eyes on his face, not letting them linger on his bare chest. It was bad enough that he caught her in his room, she shouldn't be looking at him like she wanted to climb into bed with him. Her lips curved into a smile at the possibility of them working out their issues between the sheets, but that wouldn't really solve anything.

"Johnny and I didn't get home until after five. I don't even think he made it upstairs."

"That's good. Good, you made it home - not that he didn't make it upstairs." Paige was pretty sure she couldn't be more awkward, and she needed to get out of there before she did something she regretted. "I should head out. I'm going to take a shower then head into Headquarters and finish up the last of my paperwork."

Mike nodded, "Top dresser drawer, left side."

"What?"

Climbing out of bed, Mike walked over to his dresser and opened it. Pulling out a small box he handed it to her.

Holding the box in her hand, she looked down at it curiously before meeting his gaze. "Aren't you running out of ways to say you're sorry?" This was the first time she acknowledged his peace offerings. Not that he didn't notice. He had to notice her drinking out of the travel coffee mug he got her. Hear her playing the import from her favorite band that he had to hunt down because she couldn't download it. Even now, he had to notice she had used the nail polish he left her yesterday.

"Never."

Paige opened the box, and teared up when she saw the contents. An old key with the word faith engraved on it.

"_What's this? You're giving me an old key?" Mike asked, looking at the key in her hand._

"_Not just any key. It says faith. It means that I have faith in you." Paige pressed the key in his hand and placed her hand over his. "Don't forget that." Leaning forward Paige lightly brushed her lips over his, "You're gonna do big things in DC, Mike." _

"I gave this to you for a reason," Paige began, trying to keep herself from crying. There were dozens of reasons why Mike was giving this back to her, but she couldn't stop herself from jumping from one conclusion to the next. Did this mean he wasn't going back to DC? That he didn't need the key anymore? That he didn't want her faith in him?

Taking the box from her hand, he reached inside and took out the key and placed it in her hand, mirroring the way she had given it to him the summer before. "Even though it doesn't seem like it. I haven't lost faith in you. Even if..." Mike's voice trailed off and he closed his eyes for a few seconds before meeting her gaze, "...even if you lost faith in me."


	9. Chapter 9

"So you're really leaving in the morning?" Paige asked, hugging her knees to her chest as they sat in front of the fire.

Mike shrugged, leaning up against a rock, tossing a stick into the fire. "That's the plan. I fly out at 11am."

"_Unless you ask me to stay." _

His unspoken words hung in the air and Paige nodded, staring into the fire, avoiding having to meet his eyes. They were alone outside, at his goodbye bonfire - similar to the one they had last year before he went back to DC. To be honest, he was surprised she didn't head back inside with someone. Because there were plenty of opportunities. One by one, their roommates made awkward excuses of why they couldn't stay outside and it became obvious pretty quickly that they had discussed things beforehand to make sure he and Paige were left alone. Because in what universe would Jakes and Johnny need to leave a bonfire to sort through the recycling?

Even though everyone begged off early, it had been nice to have one last bonfire with everyone. It was fitting somehow. He always had bonfires on his first and last night at Graceland. Although, this year there hadn't been a goodbye toast from Paige.

"_To Mike and return to his dream on the East Coast. We are going to miss you."_

Not that he needed her to toast him, but he wasn't entirely sure she would miss him. The ice had definitely thawed, Paige was no longer hostile towards him. But they were a long way from being being how they used to be. As much as he wanted to push her, he knew he couldn't. Pushing Paige would only cause her to shut down. If they ever got back together, it would have to be on her timetable. If he pushed too hard, he could push her away for good and that was the last thing he wanted. As pathetic as it sounded, it was easier to live in a world where there was a possibility that she would take him back instead of knowing that things were definitely over.

Unclear on where they stood, the only thing he was clear on was that they weren't waiting for the other to apologize. Although if he apologized for his actions, it would help plead his case. Although he would make all the same decisions. Except maybe find a way to get Jess to approve a team with Paige that didn't involve sleeping with her. Or maybe he could've taken more members of the house with him to get her out. But he would never not buy her over Lina. He would never apologize for choosing her. Even if she hated him for it. Leaving in her in there one second longer than necessary wasn't something he would ever apologize for. And Paige knew that. Even if she hated to admit it, she knew it.

"_If you hadn't grabbed him, I - I might not be here. You saved me."_

Now she knew the entire truth. Of how he found her and what he did to get her out of there. To his surprise, she didn't hate him for it. It had taken a while, a long while, but she understood why he made the choices he did, even if she didn't agree with him. What she couldn't get past was the lie and needing to keep the warehouse open. He understood why she wanted him to shut it down, build the case another way. They were never going to agree on how it should've been done. The most he could hope for was agreeing to disagree.

He looked up, surprised that Paige moved to sit next to him. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before she spoke, "You should go back to DC as planned. It would be for the best. I can't - I can't be who you need me to be."

Mike sighed as Paige began pushing him away, signaling that _this_ was the end, "I don't need you to be anyone."

"Maybe it's not that you need me to be someone, but it's that I'm not the same person. Maybe I'm a little lost."

"This case changed both of us. But that doesn't mean it has to be the end."

"We weren't supposed to be more than the summer. When you came out here, you didn't plan on staying."

"You're right. I didn't. But I could. DC is - "

"Everything you wanted."

"Everything I _thought _I wanted."

"_Look, when I got to DC, I was - I mean, I was a rock star. I was a real undercover agent, you know? Everyone was excited and they were so excited, they stuck me behind a desk."_

"_Isn't that what you wanted?"_

"_Maybe. But after you do what we do - "_

"_Nothing else feels like real life. I know."_

"The decisions you made, I forgive you, but we can't go back. I'm being unreasonable, I know I am. I'm not being fair, but every time you lied to me - every time you disregarded my opinion about the case - it hurt. Not just me. But those girls Mike, they were hurting and we could've stopped it. I don't want to fight with you," Paige whispered, on the brink of tears. "Really, I don't. You promised to get my girls out and you did. I'm grateful for that. But it's everything else. I'm sorry. We have a few weeks of great memories, but that's all it can be. All we can be."

"It doesn't have to be. It can be more. We can be more." Even though he knew he shouldn't push, he had to make a move. It was either now or never. Because by this time tomorrow he would be back in DC. Even if she pushed him away, he had to try. Mike closed the distance between them and kissed her until she was breathless. If he couldn't convince her with words, he would have to show her how he felt. Let his touch say all the things she didn't want to hear.

Paige pulled away and rested her hand on his chest, and he knew she could feel his heart racing. Searching her eyes for answers he saw so many conflicting emotions, but he could tell she was scared. Scared of letting go. Of giving in. Of getting hurt. "Paige..."

"Don't, Mike. Don't make this harder than this already is."

"It doesn't have to be harder. It can be real. We can be real." He lowered his mouth to hers again, kissing her slowly but insistently. He could feel her resolve weakening as she moved closer to him and her hands slid around his neck.

"Mike, I..."

"Shhh, don't talk. Don't think. Just feel," Mike whispered, trailing kisses along her neck, trying to make her remember just how good they were together. How perfectly they fit together. He skimmed his hands over her bare legs, up her thighs, teasing the skin hidden beneath the hem of her jean shorts.

"I can't make any promises. This doesn't change anything."

Mike lifted his head, and met her gaze, "I'm not asking for any promises. Even if this doesn't change anything, it doesn't change how much I want you."

Paige nodded and started pulling at his sweatshirt, before hungrily kissing him. It was if she was pouring all of her pent up frustration with him over the past few months into that one kiss. Paige pulled back from him, her lips swollen and her eyes glazed over with lust. He gently rubbed his thumb along her jaw as she moved into kiss him again, silently telling her to slow down. If all he had with Paige was one night, he wanted to remember every detail. Wanted to remember how her skin looked in the moonlight as she moved over him. How her body felt pressed against his. Her breath warm against his skin as she cried out his name.

Stripping off his shirt, Paige slowly trailed her fingers along his chest, as she softly kissed him, making him rethink his earlier decision to want to take things slow. As if she was reading his mind, she undid the button on his jeans, "We can go slow later," Paige whispered, playfully biting his lower lip. "I want you _now_."

Mike groaned as her hands wandered lower, "Later works." He made quick work of undressing her and it wasn't long before his clothes were scattered around them along with hers. He said quick thank you to whatever roommate decided to bring a blanket to the bonfire, because getting sand everywhere was not how he wanted to spend his final night with Paige. It wasn't long before they were tangled up in each other, forgetting about everything but each other.

Long after the bonfire burned out, Mike pressed a kiss to Paige's shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they watched the sun rise. Despite spending an incredible yet bittersweet night with Paige, he wasn't under any delusions that anything changed. "I have to leave for the airport in a few hours."

"You all packed?"

"Yeah."

Turning around Paige kissed him again, "Good, that gives us a little more time to finish saying goodbye."


	10. Chapter 10

"Paige, you coming or not?" Johnny called from the hall as he approached her door.

Paige shoved the paper she had been holding in the nearest book and swiped at her eyes. She forced a smile on her face as Johnny pushed open her bedroom door. "Don't you knock?"

"Your door wasn't closed. You knew I was out there. You could've told me you were changing," Johnny said, giving her a playful grin as he looked her up and down, taking in her jeans and loose, tattered sweater. "You're not wearing that are you?"

Paige lightly shoved Johnny towards the doorway, "Why are you so concerned about what I'm wearing?" Paige glanced down at her outfit, self-consciously tugging at her sweater.

"Because you're not going to pick up anyone wearing that. Any woman that sees you with me at the bar will not be jealous of you in that."

"I'm not going, okay?"

"Come on, P. You promised."

"I had a really long day, I don't feel like going out anymore."

"Mike's gone."

Paige narrowed her eyes at him, "I know he's gone." More than anyone else in this house, she was well aware of the fact that Mike was gone. She had to keep reminding herself that this was what she wanted. At least it was what she thought she wanted. She was the one that told Mike to leave. Not that she could stop him from staying. But he told her repeatedly that it was her choice. And given how much he had tried to make things up to her, prove to her that his word still meant something, she seriously doubted Mike would've stayed after she asked him to leave.

Johnny raised his hands in a mock surrender. "I'm just saying, Mike's not here. If you want him back here, say the word. I'm sure Mikey will be on the first flight back to LA. But you can't spend all your time moping over him."

"I don't know what kind of power you think I have over Mike, but when he came out here it was because he thought Caza put a hit out on him. It was only supposed to be a few days, then he found out it was linked to the buses. Now the case is closed."

"Right," Johnny slowly said, dragging out the word. "I'm supposed to believe that things are over between you and Mike just because the case is closed?"

"Mike's in DC," Paige repeated. Maybe if she said it enough times, it would sink in. But he had only been gone a few weeks and she was starting to have second thoughts. Wondering how things would be different if he had stayed. But it wasn't like she could just call him up and tell him that.

"And you're here. So you should change into something a little less...less," Johnny said, laughing at his own joke. "Meet someone new, forget all about Special Agent Mike Warren."

She had been trying for months to forget about Mike and was slowly coming to the realization that she never would. But she also wasn't ready to move on. If she tried, she was certain it would be a disaster. Even though she pretended otherwise, she still had feelings for Mike. Although she was tempted to lose herself in some nameless stranger's arms for the night, she wasn't sure she was could handle that right now. Not now, not on top of everything else that was going on. Not that anything was certain. But she couldn't deal with one more thing. Paige sighed, leaning up against her desk when it became clear that Johnny was determined to drag her out tonight. She wasn't sure if it was because he was trying to cheer her up or wanted her to help find him someone for the night. "Isn't Jakes free?"

"No, no - don't even think about pawning me off on Chocolate Jesus. You promised."

"That was before I put in a fourteen hour day. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm - "

"That's why you need to come out. Meet someone. Release some of that tension."

"Okay, this conversation is over. My sex life is not up for discussion." Paige crossed her arms in front of her chest and was _this close_ to throwing Johnny out of her room.

"It's not up for discussion? What about Mike's last night? Because..."

The heat quickly rose to her face as she recalled Mike's last night at Graceland. Spending all night in his arms, making love in the moonlight. It was so hopelessly romantic. So not who she was. But when he left, everything had been so complicated. The only reason she was able to let her guard down was because he was leaving. It was sentimental and cliche.

"_Don't stop, Mike. Don't ever stop," Paige whispered as he frenetically moved over her. She closed her eyes, sliding her hands down his back as his lips ravished her neck. _

_Mike stilled for a moment and she looked up at him, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze. No man had ever looked at her like that before. Like he wanted to devour and worship her at the same time. But it wasn't just physical, she had never had this type of emotional connection with anyone before. Her eyes welled with tears, prompting Mike to lean forward._

"_Never," he whispered before claiming her lips in a bruising kiss before he started moving again._

And perfect.

"Okay, that's enough. You're on your own for tonight." Paige shoved Johnny out of her bedroom and locked the door. Collapsing on her bed, she glanced at the clock before grabbing her phone and dialing a familiar number before she had a chance to talk herself out of it.

"Hey," Mike said.

"You busy?" Paige asked, trying to picture what Mike's apartment looked like. Would it be as barren and non-descript as his room here? Or would he actually take the time to decorate?

"No, just going over a report. How did your meeting go?"

"It went fine. I'm this close to being introduced to his dealer." As rewarding as it was to save her girls, she needed to take a step back from that type of trafficking. Maybe later she could work another case in sex trafficking. But for now, she needed to bury herself in her work. And oddly enough, she found the low life drug dealers comforting when compared to a different kind of monster.

"That's good. I talked to Johnny earlier. He said you guys were going to The Drop."

"I changed my mind. He tried to drag me out. I'm just - I'm just not in the mood to go out. To meet anyone. To be someone else..." her voice trailed off before quietly adding, "To be with someone else." She wanted to ask Mike if he felt differently now that he was in DC. If she still mattered. If he fell back into having a fling with his coworker. But it wasn't her place. It wouldn't be fair. After all, she told him to forget about her. To move on.

"Same here."

Paige smiled at his admission. Relieved he felt the same. But was still unable to take that risk. Unable to ask him to come back. Unsure if that was what she really wanted despite missing him like crazy.


	11. Chapter 11

Mike shook his head forcing himself to focus on the report that Jess gave him earlier that morning. Jess made it clear that if he didn't accompany her back to DC after the shipment exploded, they were through and he was perfectly fine with that. However, Jess had clearly changed her mind now that he was back in DC because there was no reason for her to linger in his office after hours or asking if he wanted to debrief over drinks. As easy as it would be to pick things up where he and Jess left off, he couldn't. He wasn't ready to give up on Paige and it wouldn't be fair to use Jess just because she was the nearest warm body. If it got to the point where he needed some sort of female companionship, he would pick up someone at a bar. One night, no strings. No feelings. Because Paige was constantly on his mind even though he left Graceland six weeks earlier.

But at least they were talking. He resisted the urge to call Paige when he landed after leaving Graceland. He planned to wait a week until he called, but he was only lasted a few days before needing to hear her voice. Paige called him the next time and now they were talking at least once a week. They pretty much talked about everything but them. The weather. Football. The cases they were working on. A taco food truck he discovered that wasn't anywhere close to being as good as Hector's but it was still the best taco he'd found in DC. As lame as it sounded, he was always happy to hear her voice and some days he checked his phone incessantly to see if he had a missed call or a text from her. To stop himself from obsessing about Paige every second of the day, he focused on his job, working twelve to fourteen hour days at least a few times a week so he didn't have time to think about how empty his life was without her. Didn't have time to replay every kiss in his mind. Every inside joke. Every argument. Their last night together. Their goodbye at the airport.

_"Just go, Mike. Just..."_

_Paige traced her fingers over his face and he closed his eyes, trying to stay in the moment. He tuned out the flurry of activity around them at the airport and it was as if they were the only two people in the world. Opening his eyes, he saw her sadly smiling at him._

"_Forget about me. Forget about everything, it's all in the past." _

"_I'm not going to forget about you," Mike insisted. From the moment he saw Paige, she was it for him. "I couldn't if I tried." He didn't even want to think if Paige's request meant that she could forget about him._

"_You should," Paige softly said. "You, Mike Warren, are an incredible agent and you will be the Deputy Director of the FBI one day. If there's one thing I have faith in, it's that."_

_Mike smiled slightly at her choice in words. Her believing in him after everything they had been through meant more to him than she could ever know. "Paige, I - "_

_Shaking her head, she lightly rested her fingertips on his lips to quiet him, "I know," Paige murmured before kissing him._

His phone rang, bringing him back to the present, stopping him from getting lost in the past and what could've been. Mike ran his hand over his face and grabbed his phone without looking at the screen. Hopefully this was Adams with the budget he requested for the case he was working on. "Warren."

"Mikey, you need to come home."

Mike snapped to attention when he he heard Charlie's voice. He glanced at his watch, it was barely 9am here which meant it was 6am in California. Meaning it was way too early in the morning for Charlie to bug him about coming for a visit. "What's wrong?"

"Paige, she - she's in the hospital, she's asking for you."

His heart stopped and he started shoving papers in his desk, "What happened? Is she okay?" Grabbing his things, he started making his way out of his office, stopping only to ask the receptionist to clear his schedule for the rest of the week. Ignoring the curious and concerned looks from his coworkers, he rushed out of the building and straight into the parking lot.

"I'm not sure."

"What do you mean, you're not sure?" Dozens of worst case scenarios flashed through his mind. What if she had been shot? Or stabbed again? Or in a car accident? With the kind of work that they did, there were a million and one ways for something to go wrong. He got an uneasy feeling in his gut as he considered the possibility of someone hurting her while she was undercover. "Is she in surgery?"

"No, she's not in surgery but Paige put the hospital staff on a gag order. Threatened them with a lawsuit if they said a word to anyone. All she would let them say was that she's been admitted for observation and they want to keep her overnight. The only person she let into her room was Dale and that's because he won't pressure her for answers. She doesn't want to see anyone, but she's asking for you. She said she's okay, or at least that's what she told Dale."

"I'll be out on the first flight I can get. Keep me posted, okay?"

"Of course. You don't know anything do you? She didn't say anything?"

"No, nothing specific," Mike softly said, not even the least bit comforted by the fact that he wasn't the only person Paige hadn't confided in. The fact that she wanted to see him and only him didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was in the hospital and he was a continent away.

"See you soon."

Mike hung up his phone, tossing it on the passenger seat as he sped to the airport. He didn't want to waste any time stopping at his apartment. Depending on when the next flight was, he would determine if he had time to go back to pack a bag. Paige was hurt and he had no clue what happened. The only thing he had to hold onto was that she was only admitted for observation. That had to mean it wasn't serious. Didn't it? What if she was sick? Maybe that was why she pushed him away. Paige had made it perfectly clear that she still cared about him, but something had been holding her back. He thought it was because she was still angry with him. But he was starting to wonder if the stress and exhaustion from their case had masked some other health concern.

He debated calling Jakes to see if he had more information, but Charlie told him everything there was to know. Thinking about the conversation they had yesterday, he replayed it in his mind, searching for any indication that something was wrong.

"_I shouldn't have called this late."_

_Mike shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "It's fine, I'm still up, doing some research for a new case."_

"_Whenever I call you, you're always working."_

_He smiled slightly at her concern, "It fills the days," he admitted. He wasn't some hermit that went from home to his office then back again. But his social calendar was pretty empty. Just an occasional drink with someone from the office. He hadn't really made the effort to make new friends or reconnect with old ones._

"_I'm sorry, I don't have any right - "_

"_Paige, it's okay. It's okay to care. Friends care about each other. We're still friends aren't we?"_

"_Yeah," Paige immediately answered, before sighing heavily. "Mike..."_

_He waited patiently for her to continue, only interrupting as seconds turned into a long silence. "Yeah?"_

"_Nevermind, I just - I'll let you get back to what you were working on. Take care of yourself, okay?"_

"_I'm just pushing papers and answering calls, I'll be fine," Mike said, trying to keep his tone light. "Take care, Paige."_

He initially thought her hesitation was her reconsidering things. Being uncertain on if they could be more than friends. Uncertain if she was ready for that. He initially attributed the worry he heard in her voice to the normal stress of their jobs, but now he wasn't so sure.

Mike slammed his hand on the steering wheel in frustration. He was a FBI Agent. Trained to dissect people's behavior. Figure out what they weren't saying. How could he be so wrapped up in _him and Paige_ that he hadn't noticed something was bothering her?


	12. Chapter 12

Tossing some cash at the cab driver, Mike ran into the hospital, heading straight to the elevators but after waiting a few seconds, he decided it was taking too long and ran up the stairs instead.

"_Mikey, you need to come home. Paige, she - she's in the hospital, she's asking you." _

He wanted to check his phone to see if there were any updates since he'd gotten out of the cab, but he didn't want to waste precious seconds stopping to check his messages.

_Please be okay, Paige. Please be okay._

Today was supposed to be an ordinary day. He had meetings scheduled. He was supposed to grab a drink after work with an agent he trained with at Quantico. But then Charlie called him and everything was a blur after that. He didn't even go home, didn't even change. He headed straight for the airport and got himself on the first flight to LA and if the flight had been full, he would've flashed his badge. He would've done whatever it took to get on that flight. But thankfully there was a seat available.

Approaching the landing for the eighth floor, he took a few seconds to get himself together before opening the door. Walking down the hall, he tried to catch his breath, wishing he had his hand gripper with him so he had somewhere to direct all his nervous energy. "Where's Paige? How is she?" Mike anxiously asked, the moment he spotted Johnny and Jakes in the waiting area.

"Good to see you too, Levi."

Mike stared at Jakes in disbelief. Seriously? Paige was in the hospital and Jakes of all people was bothered that he didn't start by saying hi. Mike clenched his jaw and was seriously considering letting some of his frustration out on Jakes' face for no other reason than he needed an outlet for it. Mike started to take a step towards Jakes when Johnny stopped him by placing his hand on his arm as he stood to greet him.

"Mikey, hey - Paige is sleeping, but you can see her," Johnny said. "She's in room 851."

Mike closed his eyes for a few seconds, reminding himself not to pick a fight. If he picked a fight, it would delay seeing Paige. She was what mattered. Not Jakes. "Have there been any updates?"

Johnny motioned towards Jakes, "You'll have to ask him."

Jakes sighed heavily, "No, no updates."

Mike nodded, trying to get his anxiety under control before going in to see Paige. No news was good news, right? Or at least that was what he was trying to convince himself of since there hadn't been any updates since Charlie first called him and that was hours ago. "Did she change her mind about seeing people?" Mike asked, wondering where Charlie and Briggs were.

"Briggs had a meeting he couldn't reschedule and Charlie made a coffee run."

Johnny squeezed his shoulder, "P's strong. Whatever this is, she'll get through it. Let her know, I - we're all here for her."

Mike took a deep breath, letting Johnny's words sink in. Johnny was right. Paige was one of the strongest people he knew. "I will. I'll check in with you guys later."

In his mind, Mike knew Paige was just being held for observation, but he still prepared himself for the worst as he headed towards her hospital room. Mike slowly opened the door, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw that she wasn't hooked up to that many machines. He did a quick scan of her body, looking for some kind of indication of why she was here, but couldn't detect anything. Paige was asleep with her hair partially covering her face. A ghost of a smile filled his face as he watched her sleep for a few moments. She looked so peaceful, oblivious to whatever was going on. It was almost if she was just sleeping and he was trapped in a bad dream.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. His first time coming to visit wasn't supposed to be like this. Enough time had passed that he thought that maybe, just maybe she would want to see him again. He was working up his courage to ask if he could visit for a few days. See if she could take a day or two off from work and they could drive up the coast and disappear in some town where no one knew them. Get some distance from the house. Not have to play pretend. Maybe clear the air once and for all. See if they had anything worth salvaging.

But Paige asked him first. Under ordinary circumstances, he would've been thrilled that she caved first. But not like this.

Glancing around the room, he noticed the flowers scattered throughout the room. He should've brought her flowers or something. He could probably run down to the gift shop and make it back before she woke up, but seeing her was more important than trying to figure out what arrangement of flowers would make it all better when he didn't even know what was wrong.

Mike cautiously approached Paige and settled in the chair next to her bed, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. Paige stirred at his touch and as much as he hated to disturb her peaceful sleep, he wanted her to know he was here. "Hey," Mike murmured, reaching for her hand. He lightly brushed his thumb across the back of her hand as her eyes started to open.

Paige blinked a few times and stared at him for a few moments before her eyes filled with tears. "You're here."

Mike kissed her hand, "Of course I'm here." She was hurt and asked to see him. Where else would he be? "The question is, why are you here?" Mike gently asked, ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Graceland was sacred to Paige. The agents that lived there were her family. Something serious must be wrong if she felt the need to keep this a secret. Even if it was only a day.

"I'm sorry," Paige whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so..."

Unaccustomed to seeing Paige this upset, he started to panic but forced himself to keep his voice calm, "You don't anything to apologize for." He had no clue why Paige was apologizing, but with each word she became more and more upset and it wasn't long before she was hysterically crying, gasping for air as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Paige sat up a little and he pulled her into his arms, trying to get her to calm down. Because it was only a matter of time before someone would wander in to sedate her. Mike kissed her forehead before hugging her tightly, "I'm right here. Whatever it is, we'll get through it." He kissed the top of her head, whispering soothing words in her ear as he gently rubbed her back while she trembled in his arms. His mind raced with scenario after scenario as he tried to figure out what happened as he held her.

After a while, Paige stilled in his arms, her breathing slowed down and she stopped crying. He ran his fingers through her hair, wondering if she had fallen asleep. He kissed the top of her head before pulling back slightly and Paige looked up at him, his heart breaking when he saw the look in her eyes. He wasn't used to seeing her look this fragile. This helpless. Broken.

He would do anything to take that look away. Promise anything. Do anything.

"I lied."

He tucked her hair behind her ear and brushed the tears from her face, "I thought I was the liar," Mike quietly said, trying to lighten the mood. There had been so many lies between them. Most of them his. They overcame most of them, but his last one was something she couldn't get past, and he knew it. "We both lied, it's okay."

"It's not okay. I lied, it's not okay," Paige whispered as she started crying again.

Mike cupped her face in his hand, gently stroking her jaw, patiently waiting for Paige to reveal what she lied about. Whatever it was couldn't be as bad as she thought it was. If she was sick, he'd see her through it. Do whatever it took to support her. "You can tell me anything. No matter what it is, I'm here for you."

Paige stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, before speaking. "I - I'm sorry," Paige whispered with a shaky voice. "I'm sorry, Mike. I'm so sorry. Mike, our - our baby is gone."


	13. Chapter 13

"_Our - our baby is gone."_

Stunned, Mike stared at Paige in disbelief as he tried to make sense out of her statement. Paige had been pregnant? And now she wasn't? Confused, he glanced down at her stomach and she shook her head as tears streamed down her face.

Gone.

Her words started to sink in and he pulled Paige in his arms again, tightly hugging her as he began to cry. Paige started whispering apologies again, his heart breaking as he heard the devastation and guilt in her voice. "When did you find out?" Mike quietly asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. How could she keep this from him? Things had been tense between them, but he never would've thought Paige would keep something like this from him. "Was it before I left for DC?"

Paige pulled back and looked up at him with wide eyes, "I didn't know. You have to believe me, I didn't know."

"When, Paige? How long have you known?"

"A few weeks. I suspected before that, but I wanted to be sure. Then I found out and I freaked. I wasn't going to keep this from you. I needed some time. To figure out what I wanted and how you fit into this. I know how bad this looks, but you have to believe me. I never would've kept our baby from you."

Mike closed his eyes, trying to make sense of everything. Make sense of what happened. When it happened. What to feel. Figure out what the next steps were. Figure out what Paige needed. What he needed. His mind was swimming with dozens of questions, but it felt like he was in a fog.

"Mike..." Paige whispered, touching his face so he would open his eyes. "Say something. Say anything. It's okay if you blame me, if you hate me."

He looked at Paige is if she was crazy. "Hate you? I couldn't if I tried."

"You should. I did - I did everything wrong. I should've told you right away. I tried. Not that it matters now. But I tried I just - I didn't know how to get the words out. I was going to come visit and tell you in person. I didn't want to tell you this over the phone. Maybe if I had, this..."

"What happened?" He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Paige had been pregnant. It was even harder to understand that she had lost the baby. A baby. _Their_ baby. He and Paige hadn't been together that long before they stopped sleeping together. But this didn't happen the night before he left for DC, which meant she had been pregnant during most of the time she worked on the sex trafficking case. All that stress couldn't have been good for the baby. If he had listened to Paige and gotten her girls out sooner, she would've been under less stress and maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"I don't know. I woke up this morning and I was cramping. Jakes found me doubled over in the bathroom. I didn't pass out, but I felt..." Paige squeezed her eyes shut for a few moments before continuing with a shaky voice, "I should've told you sooner. I didn't want to tell you like this. Not like this."

"Paige - "

"It's okay if you hate me. I hate myself."

Mike took a few deep breaths, trying to ignore all the questions racing through his brain. How long had Paige been pregnant? Why didn't she tell him right away? Were things so fractured between them that she thought she couldn't come to him? Why did this happen? What were the odds of a pregnancy in the first trimester ending in a miscarriage? Was Paige okay? How was she dealing with all of this? How much pain was she in? How was he supposed to grieve a baby he didn't even know about until after she miscarried? But Paige, she knew. As frustrated as he was with her for not telling him right away, he couldn't deal with that right now. She had been dealing with this on her own. Mike touched her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Listen to me, this is not your fault."

"Don't make excuses for me."

Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against hers, "I'm not," Mike insisted, framing her face in his hands. "I want you to listen to me. This isn't your fault."

Paige blinked back tears and stared back at him for a few moments before pulling away. "I swallowed balloons filled with heroin! My sleeping and eating habits have been horrible for the past few months. I drank beer and way too much coffee. That doesn't even take into account all of the stress I was under during the case. This is my fault. It's all my fault. I'm sorry." Pulling away from him, she curled into her pillow facing away from him. "Just go, Mike."

"I am not leaving," Mike insisted. "Tell me what you need."

Turning around, Paige shook her head. "You can't fix this! You can't fix me! I want our baby healthy inside me! But I can't have that, so at least be mad at me. Give me something else to feel other than emptiness."

Determined to not let Paige push him away, he climbed into bed next to her. Paige tensed as he pulled her into his arms. He wasn't sure what, if anything he could say to make this better. He wouldn't tell her everything would be okay, because he wasn't sure it would be. Just about the only thing he could do was be there for her. Make sure she didn't blame herself.

Paige started to relax and she rested her hand on his chest, "Why Mike? Why did this happen to us?"

Not having an answer, he didn't give her one. "I'm sorry, I wasn't here when you needed me. That you felt you..." his voice trailed off, wanting to choose his words carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was make Paige feel worse. "I'm sorry, you had to deal with everything on your own. If I had listened to you earlier about your girls - "

"Don't," Paige quietly said. "This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. If I - "

"It's not yours either."

Paige closed her eyes for a few seconds before shifting closer to him. "This isn't just about me. You - you..." Paige sadly smiled at him as she traced her fingers along his lips, "You lost this baby too. I want you to stop worrying about me for a minute. I want - "

"What I need more than anything is for you to stop blaming yourself." Pulling Paige closer, he kissed the top of her head.

Paige shook her head and she buried her face in his chest. "I'm not sure I can. I want to go home, Mike."

Mike sighed, "I'll talk to your doctor, okay?"

"Mike, please. Get me out of here. I don't want to be here anymore. There's nothing they can do for me. I just - I want to go home. Please, Mike," Paige begged.

Mike nodded, understanding why Paige wanted to get out of here. If all she needed was rest, she could rest more comfortably at home than she could here.


	14. Chapter 14

"I can't do this. I can't," Paige cried, groaning as the pain took over.

Mike reached for her hand, squeezing it, "You're doing great," Mike encouraged. "Do you want some ice chips?"

"I don't want any ice chips! I want this baby out of me!"

Mike wiped her forehead, "Soon."

"If we want more kids, we're adopting."

Mike laughed softly, kissing her hand, "You're amazing."

"And you're never touching me again." Paige squeezed his hand tightly as another contraction hit, "NEVER!"

"Didn't we agree that I'm the irresistible one? That I - "

"Mike!"

"Okay, Paige, are you ready to push?"

Paige slowly opened her eyes, confused to be in her bedroom at home and not in the hospital. She sat up slightly, groaning slightly from the pain. Her movement caused Mike to stir next to her, and he reached out for her in his sleep.

What was Mike doing here with her? He was supposed to be in DC. She placed her hand over her stomach and her eyes filled with tears as reality came crashing in.

"_Paige are you okay?" Jakes asked, rushing to her side._

_Breathing heavily, she was leaning against the sink, clutching her stomach. She nervously touched her leg, panicking when she felt blood. "Something's wrong," she cried, shaking her head, her legs unsteady as he picked her up. "Something's wrong with the baby."_

"_Jesus," Jakes whispered. "Okay, we're going to the hospital. I'll call everyone as soon as we're there."_

"_Mike doesn't know. No one knows. Don't - don't tell him like this. I didn't want to tell him like this." The baby had to be okay. She couldn't lose the baby._

None of this was supposed to be this way. The baby she didn't even know she wanted until a few days after she found out she was pregnant.

_Paige waived off the store employee asking if she needed help. What she needed was the kind of help a bookstore employee couldn't give. She was pretty sure there wasn't a book on how to tell your ex you're pregnant and he's 2700 miles away because you told him to leave. _

_Wandering to the pregnancy section, she grabbed the first book she saw and quickly thumbed through it, stopping when she saw, "8 Weeks." She smiled, tracing her finger along the illustration, before gently resting her hand on her stomach. "Your baby is about the size of a kidney bean."_

Paige closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face, wishing she could erase everything about the past three weeks. Suspecting she was pregnant. Finding out about the pregnancy. Getting excited about it. Figuring out how she wanted to tell Mike. Getting a sonogram. Hearing the baby's heartbeat. She didn't want all of those memories if all she had now was nothing. Paige wiped away her tears, sadly looking at Mike asleep next to her. He didn't deserve any of this. She messed everything up. Because she couldn't forgive him. She pushed him away. Practically sent him back to DC. It wasn't until after he left that she realized she made a mistake. But her stupid pride wouldn't allow her to ask him to come back until it was too late.

Sliding closer to Mike she rested her head on his chest, focusing on his slow and steady heartbeat as she tried to fall back asleep.

_Laughing, Paige dipped her finger in the chocolate frosting of the baby's cake, giving him the tiniest taste. "Your daddy just wants to take one more picture." She gently kissed the top of his head, lovingly running her fingers through his hair. "I love you. Happy First Birthday, Little Man."_

"_Let me set the timer."_

"_You better hurry," Paige said, pushing the cake just out of their impatient son's reach._

_Mike pushed a few more buttons and set down the camera before kneeling next to the high chair, he smiled widely as his son touched his face. "I love you."_

She woke up again a few hours later. The room was dark and Mike was gone. Looking around, she noticed Mike standing near the window, looking outside, staring into nothingness. Climbing out of bed, she walked over to him and placed her hand on his back. "Hey."

Mike jumped slightly, turning to look at her. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I can't sleep forever."

"You don't have to sleep, but you're supposed to be on bed rest. Are you in any pain?" Mike glanced at the clock, "I can get you some ibuprofen. It's another few hours before you can have your pain meds."

"I just - it hasn't even been a day, but I'm already feeling stir crazy." She felt like she was suffocating at the hospital. Being at home was better, but she still felt trapped. She wasn't sure what Mike told everyone to keep their distance but she needed some time to deal before having to deal with everyone. It wasn't fair to make him lie to everyone because she wasn't ready for them to know she miscarried.

"When you're feeling up to it, we can go for a walk. But right now, I need you to rest."

Paige nodded, hating that Mike was treating her like a child, but she understood why. It wasn't like he was patronizing her, he was trying to take care of her. Because clearly, she couldn't take care of herself. "I just - when I sleep, I have these dreams," she quietly said.

"What kind of dreams?"

"Dreams of how things could have been if - if things had turned out different. Memories of what happened." Mike clenched his jaw and she could see him trying to keep his emotions under control. "I'm sorry, I - "

Mike reached for her hands and brought one to his lips, gently kissing it. "Don't apologize. I don't want you to shut me out. We need to do this together. Grieve together. I don't want you keeping anything from me because you think it might upset me. I don't want you keeping this bottled up. You can talk to me about this or about anything you're feeling."

Nodding, she blinked back tears. "You - you did one thing. You saved me and I was ungrateful. I treated you horribly. I did this - and you're being so understanding. Why - "

"This isn't your fault, Paige."

Maybe if he told her enough, she'd start to believe him. But she didn't have the energy to argue with him. As much as she hated to admit it, Mike was right. She needed to rest. She tugged on his hands and let him lead her back to the bed.

"Are you hungry?" Mike asked as he climbed in bed next to her.

"Not really."

"You have to eat when you take your pain meds in a little bit. I'll fix you something light."

"You don't need to watch over me every second. If you need some space or want to go for a run or something, it's okay to leave me alone. I'm not going to break."

"Do you need some time alone?"

His simple question reminded her that he kept doing this - putting her needs first. "Honestly?"

Mike nodded, watching her carefully as he waited for her answer.

"No," she replied. "It scares me how much I need you right now. I feel like - like I'm drowning, but having you with me is keeping me afloat. I wouldn't be able to get through this without you." She had fought her feelings for Mike for so long. Pushed him away the minute things started to go wrong this summer and kept him at arm's length after the case ended. But now she couldn't have him close enough. It was as if she couldn't breathe without him. "I hate that you're hurting, because..." her voice trailed off, stopping herself before she took the blame again. "I hate that you're hurting, but we're in this together." She knew the rest of the house would be supportive. But this was their pain. They lost their baby. Mike was right, if they were going to get through this, they needed to do it together. "But this isn't just about me. So if you need something or if you're angry with me, it's okay to tell me."

"I am angry, but not with you. I'm disappointed, but not with you. I know the stats. I know that - "

"That doesn't change the fact that our baby is gone."

"It doesn't," Mike agreed. He kissed the top of her head and lightly ran his fingers through her hair.

She hated being this needy. This dependent. But his presence calmed her. Kept her from losing her mind. Closing her eyes, she rested her head on his chest and it wasn't long before she started to drift off to sleep.

"Are you okay by yourself for a little while?"Mike quietly asked.

"Mmhmm," Paige sleepily murmured. "Just stay a few more minutes."

"I'm going to raid the wardrobe room and take quick shower, then make us something to eat."

"I have some of your clothes. A few pairs of your boxers. A couple tshirts. Your light blue hoodie. Maybe an oxford or two."

"You stole my clothes?"

Hearing the accusation in his voice, her eyes shot open and she turned, giving him a mock glare, "It doesn't count as stealing if _you_ left them in my room. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, Agent Warren," Paige teased, laughing softly before abruptly stopping as she started to feel guilty.

"Hey," Mike quietly said, picking up on the change in mood. He lightly traced his fingers along her face. "I miss seeing you smile."


	15. Chapter 15

Mike ran his hand over his face as he wandered downstairs. It was early, the house was eerily quiet and Paige was sleeping. The past few days had been an emotional rollercoaster for the both of them, but she was doing better now. Whatever better meant. She wasn't in as much physical pain. She was sleeping better. Blaming herself less. Although he feared that deep down she would continue second guessing every decision she made even after she made peace with everything.

He thought all he ever wanted was for Paige to need him. She was so strong. So independent. Even after they got together, she didn't really need him. Sending him back to DC despite having feelings for him served as proof that she _could_ live without him. But now, everything was different. As devastated as they were, the miscarriage brought them closer together and the reasons why they were apart no longer mattered. The lies. The differences of opinion. Opposing viewpoints. Unresolved feelings. Stubbornness. Fear of being hurt. None of that mattered any more. As much he had wanted her to need and forgive him, he didn't want it to happen like this. Not at this cost.

Sighing, Mike headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge and started surveying the contents for something to make for breakfast. Paige was eating more, but he suspected that she wouldn't eat at all if he stopped putting food in front of her. Considering his choices, he started pulling out fruit and yogurt. Maybe he could coax her into eating some oatmeal, but he would probably have better luck with a granola bar.

"Hey, Mikey. I was starting to think I imagined you coming home. Haven't seen you since you got here."

"Yeah, I've - been a little preoccupied." It wasn't that he was avoiding the rest of the house. Except for the fact that he kind of was. Paige still wasn't ready to tell everyone about the miscarriage, so he came up with some story about her being anemic. It was a weak story at best, because being anemic wasn't something she would necessarily keep from everyone but surprisingly no one questioned it. They either wanted to believe it was that or feared it was something more serious and were too afraid to ask. Either that or Jakes told everyone she was pregnant, but he doubted it. Although Charlie could be pretty persuasive.

"I'll say. You and Paige have been holed up in her room since you got here. You moving back in or are you just P's boy toy of the week? I think she's taking advantage of the fact that you're not a civilian and having her way with you upstairs."

Mike clenched his jaw, rethinking his earlier decision to cut fruit. Having a knife in his hand while he had to deflect Johnny's innuendos probably wasn't a good idea. "We're just talking."

"Talking, _right_. Like you two were _talking_ on the beach your last night here." Johnny laughed, slapping him good naturedly on the back as he walked behind him on his way to the fridge. "Just so you know, you two don't have to be so quiet. Everyone knows."

Mike firmly gripped the knife in his hand, dropping it as his knuckles started to turn white. Walking up to Johnny he stopped right in front of him, leaning into his personal space, "We're not having sex. Paige had a miscarriage. That's why she was in the hospital," Mike growled. Breakfast forgotten, he walked out of the kitchen, stopping only to punch the wall.

"Mikey, hey. I'm sorry. I didn't know," Johnny apologized. "I can't even imagine what you two are going through. I'm sorry. Paige she never mentioned - did you - "

"Drop it," Mike warned. Frustrated, he closed his eyes for a few seconds. "I'm sorry for snapping. The past few days have been pretty rough." Johnny was just trying to be helpful. Sort things out in his head. But _when_ Paige told him wasn't any of Johnny's business. The last thing she needed was for anyone to question her choices. She already felt guilty.

"Don't worry about it. You just focus on taking care of her, okay?"

Mike nodded, and went back to the kitchen after Johnny left. But a few moments later he shoved the fruit off the counter and it went flying across the kitchen. He slammed his fist on the counter a few times, before he started to clean up the mess he just made. If only everything could be as easy as cleaning up spilled fruit. He didn't know how to do this. Didn't know how how to grieve for a child he didn't about until after it was gone. He wasn't sure what to do with all his anger and frustration. Paige kept asking him to take it out on her, but he couldn't. Dumping all this on her would just make him feel worse. He had been so focused on her that he hadn't been taking care of himself. Aside from a quick trip to the mall the day before, he had barely left her side. But maybe he needed to take some time for himself. Go for a run. Clear his head.

He ate a bowl of cereal before heading back to the fridge for more fruit. This time he managed to chop it without throwing it across the room. He poured a glass of orange juice, and grabbed a bottle of water before heading back upstairs. He smiled, stopping to watch Paige sleep for a few moments. Setting breakfast down on the nightstand, he leaned over Paige, lightly stroking her face. "Hey."

Paige slowly opened her eyes and stared up at him for a few seconds before rolling over and burying her face in his pillow. "It's too early."

Laughing softly, he kissed her cheek. "Breakfast is on the nightstand, I'm going to go for a run."

"Okay, you do that. Thank you," Paige murmured before falling back asleep.

Mike quickly changed and headed out to the beach, letting the familiar sound of the water lapping at the shore drown out his thoughts. He almost wished he was still learning Spanish so he had something to focus on, but he took advantage of the quiet time to clear his head. When he returned, he grabbed a banana and a yogurt from the fridge. Not wanting to take the chance that he'd wake up Paige if he went back upstairs, he ate in the kitchen. He headed straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he finally made it back to Paige's room, he was surprised to see her up, showered, dressed and eating.

"You're up."

Paige nodded, watching him as he walked through her room to her dresser.

He turned to look over his shoulder and she was still watching him. "You're just going to sit there?"

Paige shrugged and popped a piece of fruit in her mouth, "It's my room. You can change in the bathroom if you're a prude."

Rifling through her dresser for the tshirt he wanted, he grabbed the rest of his clothes and walked over towards the bed to change. He could feel Paige watching him as he dropped his towel and started getting dressed. He didn't mind her watching. It wasn't like she hadn't seen him change before. He supposed he should feel happy she was taking an interest in him. But he wasn't sure what it meant. If it meant anything. The lines were so blurred between them right now, but there was too much going on to figure out if they had a chance to make things work. He pulled the tshirt over his head and she was at his side in an instant.

"What happened?" Paige asked, reaching for his hand, brushing her fingertips over the broken skin on his knuckles.

"Nothing, it's fine."

"Stop treating me like I'm going to break. I won't. I've been a mess this past week, I get that. And you've been amazing. You've been so strong for me. It's my turn to be strong for you. Mike, you can talk to me. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"Then talk to me. Let me be here for you. You keep asking what I need. If you have faith in me, I need you to stop..." Paige paused blinking back tears. "I need you to stop trying to protect me from whatever it is that's bothering you. I want to help you."

"That's not - I'm sorry," Mike apologized, resting his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, wishing things weren't so messy and complicated. That both of them would stop letting their guilt make them second guess everything. Paige brought her hands to his face, lightly stroking his face with her thumbs. Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly, letting her touch calm him before meeting her concerned gaze. "I want you to heal."

"I am, a little more everyday. That's because of you." Paige brushed her lips over his, softly kissing him. "Tell me what's bothering you. I know what your fist looks like after you punched something. What happened?"

He should've known he couldn't hide this from her. Not that he was planning to keep this from her. He didn't want another lie, even a lie of omission, to come between them. He just didn't want to add one more thing to the list of things she had to deal with right now. Mike sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for Paige to sit next to him. "I had a run in with Johnny this morning. He said some things about us and why we haven't left your room - he didn't mean anything by it, and it's not like he knew what really happened. Paige, I almost lost it. I was this close to hitting him, but I punched the wall instead. I apologized and I told him what's going on."

"I plan to tell everyone. I just needed some time. We can talk to them later, or I can or - "

"We both can."

Paige nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. Mike slid his arm around Paige.

"My doctor's appointment is tomorrow. Maybe afterwards we can do something. Catch a movie or go out to dinner."

"Paige, I don't - "

"I can't stay up here forever. If my doctor tells me it's okay - I need to get out of here and do something or I'll lose my mind."

"If your doctor says it's okay," Mike said. He didn't want Paige to push herself, but if she was feeling up to it, it would do both of them some good to get out of the house for a little while.


	16. Chapter 16

"You okay?" Mike asked after Paige's doctor left the room to give them a moment alone.

She quickly nodded, taking note of Mike's choice of words. This was the first time he had asked her if she was okay since coming home. Her head was swimming from all the information her doctor gave her. She was healing, physically at least, on schedule. She was barely bleeding and wasn't as sore as she was a few days ago. But she wasn't ready to hear some of the other things her doctor wanted to talk about. While part of her was relieved that the miscarriage didn't do any permanent physical damage she wasn't ready to talk about the possibility of having kids in the future. She didn't want to hear that if they felt ready, they could try once she had her first period.

Just the idea of getting pregnant again made her feel like the world was closing in on her. All the insecurities she felt when she first found out she was pregnant came rushing back. Not being ready, prepared or responsible enough to care for a child. Realizing she would need to move out of Graceland. Stop working undercover. Plus wondering if the miscarriage really was a one-time thing or what if there was something wrong with her. What if she miscarried again? Although her doctor assured her that her chances for miscarrying again were less than her chances for delivering a healthy baby, she couldn't make any promises. Not that she was looking to get pregnant at any time in the near future. She wasn't in a relationship. She and Mike - she wasn't sure what she and Mike were to each other.

As awkward as it was to have Mike in the room for most of that discussion, she was glad he came with her. Just having him there with her made it more bearable. Even though her doctor let her know they should probably wait a little longer before having sex again.

"I should probably get dressed. Can you - "

Mike jumped up, "Yeah, I can wait in - "

She placed her hand on his arm, stopping him, "You don't have to go, I just wanted you to hand me my clothes."

Mike looked at her, offering her a sheepish grin as he handed her her a stack of clothes from a nearby chair. He stood there awkwardly for a few moments, watching her, clearly unsure what to do or where to look. Where not to look.

"At ease, soldier."

The tension broken, Mike laughed softly as she slipped off her exam gown and started getting dressed. Mike watched her, but not with the same fascination she had when watching him the day before. Although, she was pleased to see a flicker of desire in his eyes and not the overwhelming concern she had gotten used to seeing this past week.

"Any decisions on what you want to do?"

Shimmying into her jeans, she looked at Mike with panicked eyes. "Do?" she asked, unable to keep the anxiousness out of her voice. Grabbing her shirt, she quickly pulled it over her head. She slipped on her shoes, purposely avoiding looking at Mike.

Mike gently placed his hand on her back, "About this evening," he clarified. "Sorry."

Relieved that Mike wasn't asking her anything about the future, she smiled. What she wanted more than anything was to forget about everything was going on. Pretend this was just an ordinary day, even if being normal was far from what ordinary had come to mean for them. "Can we go to Santa Monica? Grab dinner somewhere and just walk around?"

Leaning forward, Mike lowered his voice, "Did you just ask me on a date?"

Looking up, she laughed at the playful look in Mike's eyes. "You wish," she teased, grabbing the rest of her things. She reached for Mike's hand and squeezed it, "Thank you."

Mike kissed the top of her head, as he led her out of the exam room, "Anytime."

Hours later, she and Mike made their way back to Graceland. It was good for them to be out of the house. To feel normal again. To laugh and not feel guilty. To have fun. It was hard to believe how different everything was a week ago. It wasn't like Mike could stay out here forever. So she was going to enjoy the time they had together. She probably shouldn't have kissed him the other day. She practically dared him to get dressed in front of her yesterday. Even though they had been changing in front of each other the past few days, and Mike had helped her take a shower a few days earlier yesterday had been different. They still had feelings for each other, but were living on opposite coasts. Maybe things weren't meant to be with them. Chalk it up to bad timing. Poor choices. Her inability to move forward. But things were different now. They were so much closer. She was borderline codependent on him and sending him mixed signals.

Mike held open the door for her and started to direct her upstairs, which was their normal routine. She had barely left her room the past week and it had become a safe haven for the both of them. But it was time for her to start existing outside of those four walls. "Wait."

Stopping, Mike turned to face her. "What?"

Reaching for his hand, she pulled him towards the living room. The rest of the house was downstairs, hanging out in the kitchen, laughing as Johnny told some elaborate story while Jakes cleaned up the kitchen.

As easy as it would be to retreat to her room for the rest of the night, she couldn't hide up there forever. And it wasn't like Mike would be here forever. Pushing away thoughts of what she would do when Mike went back to DC, she nodded towards the TV. "Let's have a movie night down here."

"You sure?"

They had told everyone about the miscarriage last night and as expected, everyone had been supportive. Asking what she needed. What he needed. Giving them space. Offering to listen if either wanted to talk or vent. Understanding why they kept quiet and needed to be only with each other the past few days. And while she appreciated their concern, she still hadn't been ready to interact with everyone. But now after her non-date with Mike, she felt like she could hang out with everyone for a few hours and not break down in tears if she heard the word _baby_.

"If you are. Or we could watch a movie upstairs if you don't want to hang out with everyone."

"I'm good, I just want to make sure - "

"I'm fine."

"Anyone want to watch a movie with us?" Paige called out to the kitchen. "Mike's making popcorn."

"Wait, why am I making popcorn? Didn't you break the popcorn popper last summer?"

Ignoring his question, she waved her hand at him dismissively. "It's fine. We have microwave popcorn."

"I don't like microwave popcorn."

"Mike, the lady wants popcorn, you better make her popcorn," Briggs called out from the kitchen.

"Do not let her near the microwave!" Jakes said, as he finished loading the dishwasher.

Johnny laughed, "You're just mad because it's your turn to clean the kitchen."

"She burned microwave popcorn the last time she made it," Jakes said. "Paige practically destroyed the microwave."

"Please," Paige pouted, sticking out her lower lip for extra emphasis. "You heard them, I can't be trusted with microwave popcorn."

Charlie smacked him the chest with a bag of popcorn, "Looking for this, Mikey?"

"Looks like I'm making popcorn," Mike said, taking the bag of popcorn from Charlie. "Can you get me a pan?"

"I want - "

"Extra butter, no salt."

Pleased he remembered how she liked her popcorn, she brushed her lips over his in a silent thank you, oblivious to the four pairs of eyes intently watching them.

A few hours later, the house was quiet as the ending credits to _Coming to America_ played. Charlie, Jakes and Briggs spoke in hushed tones in the kitchen. Only, Mike, Paige and Johnny remained in the living room.

Mike gently ran his thumb across the exposed strip of skin on Paige's hip where her shirt didn't quite meet her jeans. Paige was sound asleep, curled up next to him with her head resting on his lap. Mike felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he quickly silenced it, not wanting it to wake her. After dismissing the call, he glanced at the caller ID groaning when he saw Agent Campbell's name. He knew he would have to check in eventually, make a decision about whether or not to return to DC or transfer out here. Shutting off his phone, he tossed it on the coffee table and leaned his head back on the couch closing his eyes, wanting to stay in this moment and not have to worry about tomorrow.

"You gonna stay down here all night?"

Sighing, opened his eyes looking down at Paige sleeping peacefully. He moved his hand to absentmindedly run his fingers through Paige's hair as he met Johnny's gaze. "Maybe." He would happily sleep sitting up if the tradeoff was watching over Paige, making sure she was comfortable and safe. Not even a month ago, she could barely stand the sight of him. She wasn't going to need him like this forever, but he'd be here for her as long as she needed him. He had already let her down so many times in so many different ways, he was determined to prove himself worthy of her forgiveness.


	17. Chapter 17

"Are you going to keep ignoring your phone?" Paige paused the movie on her laptop as she and Mike sat up against the side of her bed.

Mike silenced the call and turned his phone upside down to hide the screen. "It's not important," Mike said, brushing off her concern.

"Are you ignoring all your calls or just Agent Campbell's?" Paige asked. Maybe it was petty, but she was pleased to see that it wasn't Agent _Foster_ checking in on him. Not that she had any right to be jealous. She gave up that right when she told Mike to sleep with her. He didn't. He almost did, but he didn't. She had to keep reminding herself that. And even if he had gone through with it, it would've been because of her and she would've had to find a way to deal with it. Paige shook her head, pushing all thoughts of Agent Foster from her mind.

Mike's phone buzzed again, signaling that Agent Campbell left a voicemail, but Mike didn't react to the notification and instead turned to face her. "Just him."

She nodded and started toying with the keys on her necklace, searching for the one that she gave Mike last summer that he gave back to her this summer. "He wants to know when you're going back to DC, doesn't he?" Mike returning to DC was inevitable. He was no longer undercover at Graceland. She wasn't even sure if he had permission to be staying at Graceland right now, but not that it mattered.

"_You're gonna catch these guys, I know it."_

"_And when I do and this bus case is over, you gonna go back to DC?"_

"_I don't know."_

It seemed like just yesterday that she and Mike had that conversation. But so much had happened since then. That night, their future was filled with so many possibilities. Now things were different. They were different. They had grown apart and she put up a wall between them that kept them apart. But even as stubborn as she was, she couldn't deny her feelings for him the night before he went back to DC. Then everything happened with the baby. Finding out she was pregnant and just as she was getting used to the idea, the unthinkable happened and she lost the baby before she got a chance to tell him. She took a few deep breaths, trying to keep herself in the present. Not get lost in her grief.

"Paige?" Mike quietly asked, picking up on her change in mood.

"I got you something when I – when I was still - I was – " She started blinking back tears, silently cursing at herself for crying again. She hadn't meant to break down. Didn't even remember she bought this until now. Mike rested his hand on her back, gently rubbing it. "I wanted..."

"It's okay."

Paige bit her lip to keep from shouting at him that it wasn't okay, but she knew he was telling her it was okay to be upset, not that everything else was okay. Getting up from the floor, she headed to her closet searching for a small bag she placed on the top shelf. The bag tumbled down and she caught it easily. She stared at the bag for a few moments before handing it to Mike. "I bought this about a week ago, before – before everything happened. I was going to fly to DC and surprise you. I wanted to tell you in person. I thought – it made sense at the time. I saw it at the bookstore and I bought it on impulse, but now that I'm thinking about it, it's stupid and you can throw it away if you don't want it." Paige started to reach for the bag but Mike pulled it back from her.

Mike waited a moment and met her gaze before reaching inside the bag and pulling out a small stuffed fawn. He gave Paige a sad smile as his fingers toyed with the plush animal. "Because I'm the deer."

"_That dress is doing a lot of things to me, by the way."_

"_There's a lot of deer out there. Helps to be the headlight."_

"_So, it's like a – "_

_"It's like a – y__ou wanna be my deer?"_

"_Mmhmm."_

"_I'll be your head - light."_

"I told you – "

"Don't," Mike softly said. He touched her chin, so she was looking up at him. "This means so much to me. Thank you."

Relieved he understood and grateful she didn't make things worse, she kissed him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer. Being here like this, in Mike's arms - kissing him, felt right. She felt safe. Alive. Loved. She didn't feel empty inside.

"Paige..." Mike breathed her name out slowly as he locked eyes with her.

She tugged on his hair, impatient to kiss him again.

"Don't."

Embarrassed, she pulled away. This felt right for her. Apparently not for him. Thinking back over every close moment over the past few days, she realized that she was the one that had initiated every kiss. She was the one that made him get dressed in front of her. When the tables were turned, he literally jumped at the chance to leave the room. Every caress. Every look. Every friendly kiss had been about comforting her. Not because of lingering feelings. "I'm sorry. I should – you should check your messages. I have to - "

Mike reached for her hands and laced their fingers together. "You know how I feel about you. How I've felt about you since the moment I saw you. But what I don't know – I can't do this again. I can't start up again if I go back to DC."

"_Shhh, don't talk. Don't think. Just feel." _

"_I can't make any promises. This doesn't change anything." _

"_I'm not asking for any promises. Even if this doesn't change anything, it doesn't change how much I want you." _

This wasn't like the night before he left for DC. This time Mike was asking for promises. Promises she hadn't been ready to make before. Promises she wasn't sure she could make. But if she wanted him, she'd have to make those promises or deal with him going back to DC. "Mike, I – you – I don't want you to go back to DC. You belong here with me."

"Be sure, Paige," Mike murmured as she closed the distance between them.

"I am," Paige promised, showing Mike the _faith_ key that she added to her necklace when he gave it back to her. "I have faith in you. In us."

Mike grinned widely as he picked her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist, laughing as he backed her up against the wall. "Yeah?"

"Definitely."

"You are so beautiful," Mike whispered as he started trailing kisses along her neck. He tangled his fingers in her hair as he nipped at her ear.

Paige enjoyed getting lost in the sensation of being in Mike's arms again after she managed to convince herself that he didn't want her. "Mike…" she softly moaned his name as he dragged his lips across her throat. After everything that happened it was hard to believe they were _here_. But she didn't want to think about all the ways things went horribly wrong between them. For them. Didn't want to think about everything they lost. She wanted to stay here in this moment. Mike's lips became more insistent and she froze as Mike pressed himself against her. "Mike, I – we can't. It's too soon."

Lifting his head, he took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean - I'm not trying to pressure you." Backing up slightly, he lowered her to the floor. He brushed his lips over hers in a chaste kiss, "Sorry."

"I want to, believe me, I do. I just – " She looked down, not really wanting to explain further. He was at her doctor's appointment yesterday, he knew all the reasons why. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," Mike quietly said, "Look at me. There's nothing to apologize for. I should be apologizing to you."

She shook her head. Mike didn't have anything to apologize for as far as she was concerned. He had been wonderful through this whole ordeal. So patient. Understanding. Thoughtful. Perfect. Usually Mike being perfect drove her crazy, but not this time. "We're pathetic, you realize that don't you?"

"Speak for yourself. But for the record, I think you're incredible." Mike reached for her hand and led her towards the window. Standing behind her, he hugged her from behind. "I have to file for a transfer and go back to DC to pack up my apartment. How much longer are you off from work?"

"I have about a week. My open case got transferred to Zelanski. It's my choice on if I want to work at the office for a bit or go right back in the field." Truth be told, she was ready for the distraction. She was going stir-crazy at the house. She was this close to heading back to the office this week until she could go back into the field, but she was positive that if she made it that far Charlie would drag her back to the house - that is, if Mike even let her out the door.

"Do you want to come to DC with me?"

"Are you using me for manual labor? Because you should know, I suck at packing."

"I've seen your closet, I figured."

"Is your apartment decorated? Like with real stuff? Not just work stuff?" She asked, turning to face him. "It's not like some nondescript place with barren walls or anything?"

"Yes."

"Yes, it's decorated or yes it's some non-descript barren place?" Paige suspiciously asked.

"My apartment is decorated."

"You're on. I'm dying to know what Mike Warren puts on his walls and I need to get out of this house before I shoot someone."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: If only there were more hours in the day...I've had this chapter written for a few days, but I let it sit for a few days because I wasn't happy with it. Debated scrapping it altogether - except for one scene, but I think I fixed it. Or I hope. LOL Just a few chapters to go...let me know what you think of this one.**

* * *

Paige pushed past Mike as he opened his apartment door. Mike set down their bags, closing the door behind them as Paige walked around his living room inspecting things. Mike laughed softly when he realized Paige was serious that the main reason she came to DC was to see what he put on his walls. "I'm subletting, so the furniture isn't mine."

"I figured," Paige said, gesturing to the red sofa. "This isn't you, but this..." Paige smiled and pointed to a picture on the wall, "Is this you?"

"Yeah, that's me with my grandfather. I'm about five."

"Cute cowboy hat," Paige teased.

Mike shrugged, he wouldn't be caught dead in a cowboy hat today but back then that was his favorite hat. It had been a birthday gift from his grandfather, because before he wanted to be an FBI Agent, he wanted to be a cowboy.

"Breaking rules?" Paige asked, tapping on the edges of a photo on the mantle.

"You know, someone once told me breaking a few rules is good, as long as you know which rules to break."

Paige laughed, "Well, in that case, I guess it's okay."

He moved to stand next to Paige as she looked at a picture taken his first summer at Graceland. Johnny had wanted to test out his new camera, one he bought with high hopes of picking up women on the beach. Somehow Johnny convinced everyone, even Jakes, to head out to the beach to take a group photo. The logic had been since the photo would stay at the house, it wouldn't burn the house. It had taken forever to get a picture where all six of them were smiling at the camera. But that wasn't his favorite photo from that day. He chose a picture where he and Paige were facing each other, laughing at a private joke. "Remember this day?"

"_What is with you two? You can't stop flirting for five seconds so I can take a picture?" Johnny complained as he went to go reset the timer. "1-2-3-Smile, it's not that hard. Paige, come on - stop hanging all over Mikey, he got 1700 on his practicals but can't concentrate with you all over him." Johnny smiled and held still for a few seconds, "See, it's not that hard."_

_Paige laughed harder, leaning into Mike's shoulder, "Maybe he'll do the Heisman pose next," she whispered, as Johnny moved the football to his other hand._

_Mike laughed, turning to face her, "Want to place a wager on that?"_

"_I win, you do my next turn on the chore wheel. And if you win - "_

"_When I win - "_

"_Please, you're not winning. You'll be doing trash and laundry."_

"_That will be you doing trash and laundry. You're on."_

"_Let JT take the picture so I'm not late for a meet," Briggs interrupted._

"_Let them be," Charlie said, smacking his arm._

"_Hey, Johnny - how about you show off that Heisman pose?" Paige called._

"_You're cheating!" Mike interrupted, elbowing her._

"_Levi, just agree to do her chores so we can get out of here," Jakes said._

_Paige erupted into a fit of laughter as Johnny ran towards the camera, did a Heisman pose, then sprinted towards them, tackling her so she landed on Mike's lap, her beer spilling over the both of them. Mike shook his head, wiping the spilled beer off her face as she looked up on him._

Paige traced her fingers over everyone's faces, lingering on theirs before reaching for his hand, "This was a perfect summer day. The start of a great week because I didn't have to do my chores."

"You cheated."

"You never said anything about not asking him to pose." Paige quickly kissed him, then tugged on his hand, "Show me around."

"Not really much to see. Living room, kitchen is over there. I think I have beer and maybe some yogurt, we can stop by the store later," Mike said. Leading her through his apartment, he pointed out the bathroom. "Clean towels are in here. This is my bedroom."

Paige walked into Mike's room, continuing to survey all the personal things which he never brought with him to Graceland - family photos, dog eared books, sports and music memorabilia. "DC's really home for you." That first summer it really bothered her how little of Mike's personality was reflected in his room. It didn't make sense to her until later, when she learned why he was sent to Graceland. For the longest time, she couldn't understand why the only personal item in his room was a photograph of a crime scene. It always left her unsettled, wondering why Graceland couldn't be home to him like it was to the rest of them. But then he left and came back, with only one bag and only planning to stay while he took care of the hit put out on him by Caza. Then the bus case happened and his room remained empty, leaving her unsure on if he was a minimalist or if Graceland wasn't home to him. But now it was clear, DC was home to him.

Mike sat down on the bed and motioned for her to sit next to him, "You're home for me."

Three months ago she wouldn't have been able to deal with his statement. It would've made her feel uneasy. Trapped. Unsettled. But that was before. Mike wasn't trying to pressure or suffocate her. He wasn't trying to mold her into someone she wasn't or take away her independence. She quickly kissed him before sitting next to him. "Are you sure about moving? I could always transfer here. It's not like there's a shortage of drug dealers."

"The kind of work that we want to do, we can't do it here. There's too much red tape to deal with. I'm not ready to be chained to my desk."

"But if you want to work your way up the FBI food chain, you can do that better here than at Graceland."

Mike softly kissed her, "It means a lot that you'd offer to move out here. But I need to do more than push papers and answer calls. So do you."

"_Look, when I got to DC - I mean, I was a rock star. I was a real undercover agent, you know? Everyone was excited, and they were so excited, they stuck me behind a desk."_

"_Isn't that what you wanted?" _

"_Maybe. But after you do what we do - "_

"_Nothing else feels like real life. I know."_

"I also don't want you giving up everything for me."

"When I'm ready to take a desk job, I will. But for now, I need to be in the field." Mike glanced at the clock, "Do you want to head out to get something for lunch? Or if you're tired, we can order in. There's this Thai place I think you'll like that delivers."

"I thought you wanted to head over to Headquarters so you could clear out your office."

"I do, but - " Mike hesitated, "You don't have to go with me."

"I want to see where you work." Not that she had never been inside an FBI office before, but she wanted to see Mike's office. Wanted to be sure that he really wanted to leave. Because even though he made a convincing argument for wanting to return to Graceland and not wanting her to transfer, she would. She didn't want Mike to regret his decision. Didn't want him to regret her. "Unless you don't want me to go."

"I do, I just don't want anyone making you uncomfortable."

"You mean Jess." Frustrated, she stood up and started pacing around his bedroom. "Have you talked to her?" Paige asked, struggling to keep her voice even.

"No, but I'm sure the paperwork has landed on her desk by now. I've been communicating with Agent Campbell."

"He's her superior right? I'm sure she loves that."

"What's going on with us, is none of her business," Mike said harshly.

Paige turned around at his tone, "I know that. But I can handle her."

"You shouldn't have to handle her."

"I'm a big girl, Mike." Jess knew that she and Mike had been involved over the summer. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was the reason for Mike returning to Graceland. Jess could fill in the blanks, but didn't know why Mike rushed back to LA at a moment's notice. "If you don't want me to go, I won't. But don't make it about me."

Mike placed his hands on her shoulders and lightly ran his hands up and down her arms. "I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't either, but you can't protect me from everything or we're not going to work."

"You're right, I know. I guess I'm still on overload from everything."

Paige closed her eyes for a few seconds, letting his touch calm her. "Sorry." She had been making this all about her. Wanting to be sure Mike was really ready to leave DC. Wanting to assert her place in Mike's life if they saw Jess, to let her know that sending Mike to her was a one-time thing and a mistake she didn't plan to make again. But this was Mike's career. His choice. And she couldn't do anything to advance his career. If anything, staying at Graceland with her was a step back as far as the FBI was concerned. "I don't deserve you," Paige softly said, her insecurities rushing to the forefront of her mind. She wouldn't blame him if he decided he didn't want to be with her after all. If he didn't want to put up with her. She didn't want him running her life, but that hadn't stopped her from trying to run his. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to forget about me and move on with your life."

"Don't say that." Mike brushed his thumb over her lower lip. "Forgetting about you is impossible. The second I saw you, you were it for me."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks everyone for your comments, I'm curious to know what resonates with readers. I feel like a broken record, but if you're not logged in - I can't reply. But if you're asking for a longer chapter - no. Chapter length is determined by flow/plot. I won't needlessly add words to make it longer. The NBA season starts tonight and if you haven't figured out by my username, I'm a Laker fan...so that means a lot of my freetime will now be spent watching games. I have one more chapter for this story and it'll go up sometime next week.**

* * *

Mike held a few collapsed boxes in one hand and reached for Paige's hand with the other as they walked down the halls of the FBI Headquarters. He wasn't sure why she was suddenly so uneasy about accompanying him after insisting she go with him, but he didn't dare suggest she wait for him the coffee shop across the street. Paige was understandably emotional about things she wouldn't normally be emotional about and if he called attention to it, he'd piss her off.

Paige looked down at their joined hands and up at him, "You sure?"

"I'm not embarrassed to be with you," Mike said, not caring if people knew they were together. He wasn't ashamed. Didn't care what other people thought or what they thought they knew. Keeping their relationship a secret from the rest of the house had been one thing. Although he suspected that everyone knew. Everyone had to know. They had been teasing him and Paige about being together since that first night he saw her. They lived in a house full of undercover agents, no matter how discreet they thought they were being, he was pretty sure at least a few people knew. And if more than one person knew, then the whole house did.

It wasn't like he and Paige being together broke any rules, aside from Briggs' no love in Graceland rule which _he _didn't even follow. Although he and Paige both worked for the Federal Government and lived in one of their flophouses, they worked for different agencies and didn't need to report their relationship for HR purposes.

Mike tugged on her hand, pulling her closer until she bumped into him. This wasn't the Paige he knew. She was confident. Bold. Teasing. Not that he expected her to bounce back right away or be the same, because the miscarriage changed both of them. He just wanted her to be - not _better_, but he wanted her to stop second guessing herself. Stop questioning how he felt about her. He'd tell her everyday how much she meant to him if that was what she needed.

He handed Paige the empty boxes as he unlocked his office. Just like when she entered his apartment for the first time, Paige walked around observing everything after setting the empty boxes on the floor.

Walking up behind Paige, Mike placed his hands on her hips, "Do I pass inspection?" He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, "Because if not, I'm open to bribing the inspector."

Paige laughed at his playful tone, "Are you? Because - "

"So the rumors are true."

Mike turned at the voice in his doorway, smiling at his friend and coworker. "Trey, hey, it's good to see you!" Paige turned around and Mike draped his arm over her shoulders. "Trey, this is Special Agent Paige Arkin, she's with the DEA. She's my..." Mike paused, looking down at Paige, not entirely sure how to introduce her. They hadn't really talked about labels, but they were definitely together.

Paige looked up at him smirking, obviously wondering how he was going to introduce her. Rolling her eyes she turned to face Trey and extended her hand, "Better half. Wittier half. Girlfriend. All of the above."

Trey shook her hand briefly, "Nice to meet you. You're at Graceland together, right?"

"We are," Paige said.

"You must be a hell of a woman to get Mike to move across the country and get him out of the office."

Paige laughed, "I can't really take credit for that." She leaned forward, loudly whispering, "Mike has a bit of a rock star syndrome."

"That's exactly it," Mike said, pleased that the only rumors circulating about him at work were him leaving DC to be with Paige.

"Speaking of rock stars, it's Stephanie's birthday and we're headed over to the Broken Wheel for drinks and karaoke. You two should join us."

"I have to pack, we should really - "

"We should really say goodbye to your friends. I want to hear if they have dirt on you."

"Mike and I went to Quantico together, I have some great stories."

"Yeah, about those stories - they should probably stay in the past. What happened at Quantico, stays at Quantico." He wasn't worried about anything too scandalous, just typical embarrassing stories of him getting shot down by women or being pranked by his friends.

"You don't want to go because you suck at karaoke. Other than surfing, it's like the one thing you can't do well?"

"Hey, you're one to talk!"

"The audience _always_ claps for me. They can't wait for you to leave the stage."

Trey laughed at their playful bickering, "One drink, you certainly have time for one drink. Maybe a song or two."

Looking down at Paige, Mike's expression softened when saw how happy she was to be having a normal conversation. Laughing. Having fun. "Yeah, we have time for a drink. We'll stop by as soon as I pack up my office."

"Agents Warren and Jones. Agent Arkin."

Paige tensed next to him as Jess appeared in the doorway behind Trey. Mike gently squeezed Paige's shoulder, as he clenched his jaw.

Picking up on the tension, Trey's eyes quickly darted around the room, "Agent Foster - I wanted to consult with you about - "

"That can wait. Mike, I'd like to speak with you."

"Yeah, so Mike - Paige, I'll catch up with both of you later. Agent Foster, please find me when you're finished." Trey offered a small wave and a nervous glance to Mike before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

Paige started to move away from him, but Mike tightened his grip on her, needing her close so he didn't lose his cool. "I wasn't sure if I'd see you before I left, but I'd like to thank you for the opportunity here, but I need to be out in the field."

"If you still have dreams of being the Deputy Director, I encourage you to rethink your decision," Jess said, before focusing her gaze on Paige. "Playing in the field will not advance your career. Don't let your personal life make you lose focus."

Before he had a chance to go off on Jess, Paige stepped forward slightly, unflinching as she met Jess' eyes. "Mike is a hell of an agent, his undercover experience will only help him become the Deputy Director once _he_ decides to leave the field. Mike knows your manual backwards and forwards, but knowing a manual only gets you so far."

"Mike, you better be sure," Jess said. "Because you won't climb the ladder busting small time dealers in LA."

"Bello and Solano are small time dealers?" Mike asked, laughing, stepping forward so he was next to Paige again, placing his arm around her shoulders. "I made my decision. I'm staying at Graceland."

"We talked about this Mike, about not getting lost," Jess said, flicking her eyes on Paige briefly.

"_We make a good team." _

"_Don't you forget that. Look, I know you're back there and it's like a thing. I just don't want you getting lost upstream on me, you got it?" _

"_I won't get lost."_

"Trust me, I'm not lost." What he remembered most from that night wasn't Jess lecturing him about getting lost, but Paige dropping her towel while he was on the phone with Jess. He laughed softly turned his head slightly to look at Paige, wondering if his side of the phone conversation even registered with her or if she had been too busy plotting her seduction. Not that she had to do much. He had wanted her since last summer, wondering when he would get a second chance at a different version.

"_Believe me, there is a a version of that that I want, but not like this."_

"_Why's that?"_

"_Cause that wasn't about me. You're lost, Mike, and I'm not the answer."_

"Not anymore," Paige agreed.

It was hard to believe that their disastrous first kiss was barely a year ago. So much had happened since then. So much had changed. It took them a while and a lot of heartache, but they finally figured things out. Jess thought he was lost, because he wasn't focusing on his career. But he was, just not the way she thought he should. He tried having his nose to the grind in DC, but it wasn't the same as being in the field. Paige was right, being in the field made him more well-rounded, teaching him things he could never learn in a manual.

Jess watched them for a few seconds, before looking Paige up and down, "You look - _well_."

Paige's smile faltered slightly, but kept her composure. "Vitamin D does wonders for your skin."

Unless Jess looked up Paige's medical records, there was no way that she knew about the miscarriage. Paige's leave with the DEA was classified as a medical leave, and his leave was marked as vacation. He communicated with Agent Campbell directly about having a personal matter to attend to and Agent Campbell hadn't pressed him for more details. "If that's all, I need to pack up my office."

"It's your career, Agent Warren. Trash it if you want," Jess said, before letting herself out of Mike's office.

Paige laughed bitterly as the door closed, "I really can't stand her."

"She's fishing for information, she doesn't know anything about us or my career." Mike kissed Paige, trying to reassure her that what Jess thought didn't matter. Even though Paige defended his decision, he didn't want her doubting his choice. Didn't want Jess playing into her fears that his career would suffer unless he remained in DC.

Paige relaxed in his arms and he deepened their kiss, not caring if he wasn't being professional because he was kissing his girlfriend at work or if Jess decided to come back in. He groaned in frustration when she pulled away.

Paige gave him several quick kisses, "Don't start something we can't finish."

Mike sighed heavily, "Okay, fine - help me pack so we can get out of here."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: This is the last chapter of this fic...can't believe it snuck up to 20 chapters, I originally outlined it as 5-7! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. I'm both excited and sad to put this version of Pike to rest so I can start working on other fics. And when is Graceland going to get renewed? this wait is killing me!**

* * *

Mike watched Paige negotiate her song with the person running the karaoke machine, hoping she wasn't plotting to drag him onstage.

Trey followed his gaze and elbowed him, "She's the one from last year, right?"

"Yeah." Even though he and Paige had never done anything more than kiss last year, she was who he talked about when his friends asked about that first summer at Graceland. He stopped short of referring to Paige as the one that got away. To make a long story short, he just said they had bad timing. As for this past summer, he couldn't even begin to describe how things went wrong between them.

Paige walked on the stage and grabbed the mic, "I'd like to dedicate this to Levi." She looked around the room and winked when she caught his eye.

"So this is the infamous Levi?"

"It's Mike."

"Levi?"

"Kind of a long story." Mike shook his head and started laughing once the song Paige selected started to play.

"She can't help it, the girl can't help it..."

Just like that he was transported back to the moment he first saw Paige, when she was singing at a Korean Karaoke bar while undercover. He didn't believe in love at first sight. It definitely wasn't love that first summer. But there had been something there. A connection. A flirtation. Mutual attraction. Only they didn't act on it until this summer.

Paige sensually danced on stage and he was just as mesmerized by her tonight as he had been the night they first met.

"Why is she singing in - what language is she singing in?" Trey asked.

"Korean. She was undercover and singing this the first time I saw her." It was hard to believe that it was only a little over a year ago that they first met, because he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

"Give it up for Paige, singing 'The Girl Can't Help It,' for Levi."

Mike clapped along with the rest of the bar as Paige took a bow before running off stage and into his arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him. "See, the crowd loves me."

"They were being polite."

Offended, Paige pulled back from him. "Let's see you get up there and sing in Korean."

"I barely speak Spanish, I'm not singing in Korean."

* * *

Paige kicked off her shoes when she and Mike got back to his place. "Tonight was fun."

Mike set down the boxes from his office near the door. "It was good to see everyone - not everyone, everyone, but I'm glad I got a chance to see my friends."

"They're nice." After everything that happened today, she was satisfied that Mike didn't have any regrets about moving back to Graceland, personal or professional. As much as she hadn't wanted to cross paths with Jess, she was glad she did. She got to see for herself that even when Jess offered him the opportunity to stay, he wasn't interested in his old job or her.

"Yeah, they're pretty great. It's not too late. We could watch a movie or - "

Pressing her lips against his, she cut Mike off with a kiss, "Or not." Giving Mike another kiss, she led him towards the sofa and pulled him on top of her. "I missed this," Paige whispered as Mike settled on top of her.

Mike kissed her slowly and she wrapped her leg around him, pressing herself into him, hoping he would get the hint to move things along, but he continued on at his own pace. He pulled back slightly, brushing his lips over hers before dragging his lips to her throat. Her eyes fluttered close as his lips settled on her neck, eager to lose himself in his touch.

"I need you," Paige confessed, bringing her hand to the back of his neck and pulling on his short hair. While she would always need him to be strong, to lean on him and be her rock, that wasn't what she needed right now. She needed him to consume her. To make her feel alive. She needed to be with him and start moving forward so they could pick up the broken pieces of yesterday's life.

They had so much emotional baggage. It kept pulling them apart and pushing them back together. She wasn't sure things would ever be easy with them. If they could have ever been easy. Sometimes she wondered what if she had snuck into his room the night they met. Or not kept him at arm's length all last summer? Given into temptation when he finally kissed her. Would things have turned out any differently? Would they be different? Would they be together now? Or would they still have found some way to get in their way?

But they were together now.

Despite everything going horribly wrong and being positive they would never find their way back to each other, they were together now. So many things went wrong between them, it was hard to pinpoint the exact moment where there was no going back. If it happened when he lied. Or when she put Lina on that bus. When she asked him to sleep with Jess. When she went under as Anika. Not being able to forgive him. Mike keeping that hellhole open for as long as he did. Losing the baby. There was plenty of blame to go around for the both of them.

She slid her hand underneath Mike's shirt, trying to bring herself back to the present and not get lost in the past.

As she fumbled with his belt, he lifted his head, resting his forehead against hers, as his breathing evened out. "We should probably - "

"It's okay, I'm okay," Paige assured him as she unbuttoned his jeans.

"Paige, I don't - I don't have anything. I wasn't thinking about this. I'm sorry, I - "

She pressed her lips against him, silencing him. "I have protection, because I'm not - we can't..." her voice trailed off and she couldn't stop the few tears that escaped her eyes.

Mike lovingly kissed her tears away, before rolling off her, shifting them on the couch so they were facing each other. "Maybe we should slow things down," Mike gently suggested.

"We don't have to. I want to be with you."

"I want the same thing, but if you're this upset - "

"I wish I wasn't such a mess."

"You're my mess," Mike playfully said, trying to lighten the mood. He softly kissed her, "Tell me what's bothering you."

"I'm scared. Not of being with you, but I'm scared of getting pregnant again." They weren't ready to be parents. But if their baby had lived, they would've found a way to make it work. But she wasn't pregnant anymore and as much as she had wanted their baby, she wasn't ready to try again and wouldn't leave anything to chance. "I saw my doctor again yesterday. It's okay for us to be together, if that's what you're worried about. I started taking birth control again, but she recommended we use protection too - just until..." Paige shook her head, frustrated. "Well, that's one way to kill the mood."

Mike reached for her hand and kissed it. "You didn't. What you feel, it's important to me. Your health is important to me."

She toyed with the buttons on his shirt and pulled her hand back. "I'm going to take a shower. Maybe we could watch a movie or - "

Mike lightly brushed his lips over hers, "I want you. I always want you. Okay?" Climbing off the couch, he turned on some music before pulling Paige into his arms.

Swaying to the music, she rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. "This is our first dance together."

"Seems long overdue."

Relaxing into his embrace, her anxiety from earlier started to slip away and she lifted her head to kiss him. "Slow, okay?" She whispered, suddenly feeling a little gun shy.

Mike touched her chin and lightly kissed her, before leading her to the bedroom. He gently brushed his lips over hers, before he slipped off her sweater. Paige sighed, content to let Mike take control. After months of not trusting him, she trusted him completely. Mike's lips were everywhere, tenderly kissing every bit of freshly exposed fresh as he undressed her.

Propped up on her elbow, she watched Mike undress as she waited for him to join her in bed. Mike leaned over her, kissing her slowly as his hands wandered. After what seemed like an eternity of languid caresses, Mike slipped inside her. He held her gaze for a moment and she kissed him to reassure him she was okay.

"About time," Paige teased, lovingly placing her hand on his face.

"You said slow," Mike reminded her, dragging his lips across her throat.

Her eyes closed as Mike moved over her, getting lost in the familiar sensation as he rocked his body against hers. Mike was going maddeningly slow as he moved over her and if she wasn't convinced he was holding back, she would swear he was trying to drive her insane as he kept her on the edge of pleasure. But after fighting her feelings - fighting him, fighting with him - there was no place she would rather be. Even if she was ready to kill him if he didn't push her over the edge soon.

* * *

The room was still when she awoke later that night. Taking advantage of the rare opportunity to watch Mike sleep, she smiled softly at him, still in disbelief that they were here. Paige pressed a kiss to his chest, sighing as he pulled her closer. Resisting the temptation to go back to sleep, she carefully untangled herself from his embrace and carefully climbed out of bed. Grabbing his discarded shirt from earlier, she slipped it on, buttoning a few buttons before wandering over to the window.

The busy street below was a far cry from the ocean view that awaited them back home. She had lived in California her whole life and wasn't sure she could ever acclimate to not living near the beach. Or the Pacific Ocean. Mike would probably want to move back to the East Coast at some point and she would have to figure out if she would follow him. Paige shook her head, she was getting ahead of herself. When or if Mike decided to move back to DC was way off in the future. Or at least she hoped. Right now she was just going to enjoy this time with Mike away from everything. Take the time to be with him now that they figured things out. She just wished it hadn't taken them losing a baby to bring them back together.

Paige hugged herself, wiping away a stray tear. She smiled when she felt Mike's arms wrap around her from behind.

He kissed her shoulder, before pushing aside her hair to nuzzle her neck. "You're up early," he murmured as he started to kiss her neck.

Leaning back into his touch, she tilted her neck to give him better access. "Just restless."

Mike slipped his hand underneath the shirt, lightly stroking her stomach before wandering upwards to caress her breasts. "You should come back to bed," Mike breathed into her ear.

"You think?"

"Definitely."

Turning her head slightly she kissed him as his hand wandered lower, continuing to tease her as he pressed into her from behind. "You drive a hard bargain, but I'm going to take a raincheck."

"Raincheck?" Mike laughed, placing his hands on her hips.

Paige wiggled out of his grasp and turned around to face him, "Yes." Paige quickly kissed him, "If we go back to bed, we won't sleep and - "

"How is that a problem?"

Paige poked him in the chest, "You are supposed to pack all day, because I'm going shopping. I don't want to sleep too late."

"You love sleeping in," Mike reminded her, reaching for her hands, pulling her back towards his bed.

She found her resolve weakening the closer they got to the bed, "This is true."

"I'm subletting, remember? The furniture isn't mine," Mike pointed out, continuing to make his case. He sat on the edge of the bed as Paige stood in front of him. He unbuttoned her shirt and he pushed it off her, letting it slide to the floor.

He looked up at her, his eyes filled with a mix of adoration and desire. She would never admit it, but that look was her Achilles heel and it could make her agree to just about anything. Leaning over him, she softly kissed him.

"So I just have to pack clothes and stuff. My winter clothes are still in storage. It shouldn't - "

"Just shut up about the packing," Paige murmured, pushing him back on the bed.

THE END


End file.
